Lynne Everyday

The Holidays

2011-12-20T22:29:00.000-06:00

I have enjoyed my Christmas break so much! It's been wonderful to be released from the pressure of school and enjoy reading for pleasure again. I've spent days and evenings curled up in front of the fire with my iPad (that seems weird to say but it has been my preference these days - so easy to get books and carry around).

I had Gus for several days while Dom and Luke had an anniversary holiday. And in January before I start back to school I'll get to have Ruby and Enzo for a while so Ginger can go with Chuck on a short business trip. So I will get a good grand kid fix before the spring semester starts and my nose is stuck in a book again (the paper kind). They are all growing up way too fast! Cute as buttons and so smart. (I'll post some pictures from our Christmas soon).

The kids will come in on Thursday night and Friday morning so we can all have Christmas together. It won't last long but it will be such fun watching them open presents. And of course lots of hugs and kisses for Gigi and Big Daddy.

The weather has been cold enough for a fire and I have enjoyed one most nights and many days. Today Bobby and Phoebe were with our youth at Mission Arlington so I was alone all day, just me and the kitty cats. This morning, I went Pottsboro Kids Club to help the kids wrap presents they bought yesterday for their parents. (Phoebe and I volunteer tutor there on Mondays). The kids are something else. Each time I get to know one a little better, I think how blessed I have been, how blessed and protected my children have been. Most of these kids have such a small chance of success in life, they are living the consequences of the choices of their parents. Some are intelligent but have a single parent working themselves to weariness trying to make ends meet with nothing left at the end of the day for the kid, some have such learning difficulties and little support at home to help them, so many stories, all unique, I just pray for them.

Then there are the few who no matter the tough situations at home you can tell their parent(s) love them and are really trying to raise them well. And then there are the bunch of community volunteers who come in to help out. Most are retired and retreaded to spend time with these kids. One guy in particular has been coming to our church he wife died last year and he is helping his own loneliness by helping the kids, and there are others I know from the community who come every day, they may never know what an impact they have on these kids. I know God must be pleased at their efforts. I know it encourages me, I'm determined that no matter how old I am I will find a way to give back and be an influence on the generations to come. There will always be a kid who needs a friend.

After I finished up at the Kids Club, I bought groceries for our Christmas lunch. The weather man is predicting snow flurries on Friday night. I hope they come a little soon. What fun it will be if we get to celebrate, eat good food and have snow!!!

When I got home from Walmart (not my favorite place) and put all the groceries away, I built a nice fire, turned on the "Traditional Holidays" music channel (Dish) been reading then taking a break doing various chores around the house, stoking the fire and reading some more. Some times solitude is such a good thing. I wouldn't want a steady diet of it, I know many of our shut-ins would tell me constant solitude can make you sick and I believe it. But for a day it's nice. The house has been quiet, except for the fire crackling and the wind blowing outside, I've been alone with my thoughts and my book.

Soon enough life will get crazy busy again so for the moment I'll enjoy the moment and totally relax.
I had so many plans of how I would use my Christmas break and honestly I'm not sure I'll get any of those things on my "to do list" done. I'm just loving not looking at that list at all. But I suspect this time next week I'll be busy again...taking down Christmas decorations, spring cleaning the house, working on taxes and counting down the days til school starts.

But for now I'm going to finish my book as I watch the last of the fire die down and think about all that tomorrow (oh, yeah, call me Scarlett).

All done for the semester!!

2011-12-09T20:02:00.000-06:00

Finally this semester is over.
Phoebe got me addicted to pinterest, so I think it's timely that I can now sit for hours in front of the fire and browse everyone's great ideas.
I ran across an OT board that has some fantastic ideas, which then led me to th blog of an OT in California.
I get so excited about seeing what I will be doing someday - I almost cry.
I wish I had done this thirty years ago...but like I told Bobby just yesterday, I think I would still be a stay home mom first. I don't have any regrets about that.
But I do get excited about what I will do for the rest of my life - just three more years of school...hopefully.

A few Thanksgiving Pics

2011-11-28T21:27:00.001-06:00


Uncle Chuck and Gus - a little monkey business

Gus and "Aunt Cibi"

Enzo wearing Big Daddy's glasses

Bipaw and Phoebe talking about boys

Ruby loving on Santa

Sorry Laura, I don't have all my pics on my computer yet but here are a few.
Sad to have missed you all (Dale, Laura, Tristan, Alyssa and Tory), we also missed Aunt Judy and Uncle Tommie, and Sheila this year...
I know it's hard to imagine with 78 people but for real when y'all aren't there it leaves a big hole.
I was glad we got to Skype, next year we need to try that with Aunt Judy too!
We had such an awesome time, we were knee deep in little "ankle biters" and snot but what fun with all the babies!
I came home to two tests today and studying for finals next Monday.
I took my LAST lab practical in Anatomy and Physiology today - and I'm proud to say I have a 100.5 average for the class!
It is a crazy thing, I feel like someone is finally speaking my language - who knew science was so much fun?
Phoebe and I put up the Christmas tree tonight and I'll keep working on the rest of the decorations in the house through the week.
Bobby is boycotting putting Christmas lights on the house, but maybe he'll do it for the grandbabies.
It will be such a fun Christmas this year. Ruby appreciates all the lights, fuss and pretty things. Gus and Enzo are into opening presents by now, so it should be a blast - I can hardly wait.
I will take a well deserved break from school over Christmas but probably fill up my time with projects I've been postponing (and some light reading!)
Okay, really got to go study now but I will post some more pics up as soon as I get them loaded.

Earthquake in Pottsboro!!!

2011-11-06T15:29:00.001-06:00

No really we had a real live earthquake last night here in Pottsboro.
You can follow the link verify for your self:
http://www.kxii.com/weather/headlines/Bryan_County_Sheriffs_Office_Confirms_Earthquake_133311913.html

But we didn't need anyone to confirm what we felt.
I had just fallen asleep, the night was pleasant and cool, I'd left the windows open a bit so there was a cross breeze; and as it blew steadily the wind chimes were playing a soothing song (I've been trying to stave off a cold and took Nyquil when I went to bed). I was finally beginning slip into dreams when I felt the bed move. I remember thinking to myself, "This is curious, is this a dream?" My next thoughts were more confused dream-sleep conversations with myself, like, "why do I hear rattling" and "can the wind really blow so hard that it shakes my bed like this?"

I didn't have to converse with my sleeping self long before both Phoebe and Bobby came pounding down the hall from the living room where they had been watching a movie. They were whisper shouting "Are you awake? Did you feel that earthquake?!!!"

It was pretty crazy. When I woke up this morning I really thought I had dreamed it but no it was right there on the news! It really happened. Evidently, it has happened before in this area but not too recently.
I googled it and found this:
'The October 22, 1882 earthquake felt, in Texas, was probablycentered in Oklahoma or Arkansas; the total felt area covered about 375,000square kilometers. At Sherman, Texas, heavy machinery vibrated, brickswere thrown from chimneys, and movable objects overturned."

How's that for a news flash....
Okay, now back to regular programming, I have to finish my homework :(

But if you want a giggle, follow the link to see what all the country folk were saying about the experience:
http://www.kxii.com/weather/headlines/Bryan_County_Sheriffs_Office_Confirms_Earthquake_133311913.html?storySection=comments

2011-10-28T13:57:00.002-05:00

We are three very happy people right here. Some very sweet friends of ours gave us each iPads of our very own. We are still figuring them out but having a blast!

On another planet?

2011-10-06T22:55:00.000-05:00

To say I've been off the grid regarding the blog would be an understatement! It's more like I've been on another planet. School has just sucked me into a giant black hole that looks a lot like an anatomy book, a child development book and a psychology book. Those three courses are gobbling up huge amounts of my brain and time!
I am enjoying them but question my sanity of taking them all together. TOO much information to retain in my head at one time.

I'd like to say I was living a well rounded life, but I rarely come up for air except to feed the family and go to church. I have to admit I've changed my opinion of college students somewhat. There is a reason they are flaky and non-committal about so many things in life. I now understand why, it's very hard to maintain any kind of balance while trying to learn all the mysteries of the universe, ha! Well for me it's been a challenge any way, I'm glad I'm not having to work like so many students I know. Of course, for most of them I'm twice their age and have half the brain cells and way less energy!

So that's my excuse for not posting much. Other than all the studying not much has happened since my last post, besides the drought. Things are so very dry, I hear fire truck sirens on a daily basis and the sides are the roads are pock-mocked with huge black areas that have burned. I am sure praying this front will bring some rain, although forecasters are saying anywhere east of 35 won't get any. And that means us. How terrible to have it be so close. They are predicting this rain event will be a drought buster for those counties that get it. Up to 5 inches of rain expected. Wow, we really need it.

Well, two interesting things have happened. You can link to Dominee's blog and see Gus walking. It's a wonderful sight! Our sweet little guy seems to face such challenges but he is overcoming them with persistence and such a precious happy attitude. (I know Dom may disagree since he is in the terrible twos but he is very sweet natured.) I haven't seen any of my grandbabies in several weeks and I'm about to dry up from lack of kiddo loving! Hopefully next week I can get to Denton.

We had another heart patient in the family. Bobby's mom had heart surgery ten days ago and is doing really well. We had hoped they would allow her to go to rehab so she would not have to recover at home alone (at least not initially) but she was recovering so fast from the surgery they just couldn't qualify it with the insurance company. Of course, I really hate that! I don't think the insurance company ever makes a decision that is in the best interest of the policy holder. But God has been so good and she is doing fine at home. In a few weeks she should be cleared to drive and she won't feel so home bound. In the mean time she is taking it easy and letting her body heal.

After discovering a mouse living in our kitchen we finally decided it was time to get a new cat. Bobby had several free one on the line but none panned out. So Phoebe and I went the the animal shelter on Saturday and come home with three kittens. We looked at the older cats, wanting to take one or two - knowing they don't go as fast but we decided on three kittens that were siblings and barely six weeks old. They were pretty pitiful, clinging to the front of the cage door, mewing like they were dying. And they were sick (as most shelter animals are). We took them to the vet and they had upper respiratory infections that can kill them pretty fast. They are doing much better but they aren't eating much. They weighed 1, 1 and 1.3 pounds. The hefty one we named Moose. The other two Phoebe named Little Brother and Little Sister. She was very disappointed to find out that all three were boys and Little Sister got renamed Sweets. Here a a few pics.

all three in Phoebe's lap

moose

Little Brother

Sweets

Little Rain and a whole lot of hot

2011-07-27T21:12:00.000-05:00

This picture came from the last wedding we attended. There was a photo booth at the reception. The guests went in and clowned around and then two strips of pictures popped out - one for the couples memory book and the other was souvenir for the guests.

It was quite fun and as you can see quite funny. Then we got smoochy. Silly old people!

But boy have weddings changed!!!! This reception was exceptional for sure and probably not the norm, but between the buffet, candy bar and photo booth it certainly set a high standard and was really fun for all the guests.

Well a few days ago I woke to dark skies and rain. It didn't last and wasn't appreciable but I sure appreciated it. Now we are back to a whole lot of hot. I'm so ready for a cold front or two and maybe a week of rain. We need a hurricane to come thru like it did a few years ago.

2011-07-24T17:15:00.001-05:00

A Sad Day in Pottsboro - ode to Porch Kitty

2011-07-24T16:49:00.000-05:00

Well once again we are mourning the loss of a pet. We found our poor "porch kitty" dead on the side of the road last night between our house and the church. He had been missing since Monday and we thought he might be gone for good. Coyotes are particularly bad here. And it's been terribly hot. So I didn't hold out much hope after a week he was coming back. So it is especially sad that he had almost made it home. And though it is sad that he got hit by a car, that seems more comforting than him being ripped apart by coyotes.
All in all it's just sad. Life in lake country can be especially hard on out side pets. This is cat number four in almost the same number of years we have been here. Though he lasted for over two years, mainly because he rarely left the porch, thus the name Porch Kitty. For the most part he stayed close to home and was very loving. Most of his days he spent on the sprawled on a rug under the rocker on the porch. And in most encounters with family he tangled himself our legs purring for attention. If we stopped for a moment he would drop on to his back for a belly rub even if it was just for a few seconds with a booted foot.
He was a great mouser and most of our mouse problems had disappeared. He enjoyed leaving his trophies right where we would find them. He caught his fair share of birds, once eating the whole cardinal and leaving only it's head at the garage door. He will be missed.
And in time when our grieving heart recover he will be replaced. Once thing that's a necessity is a good out door cat to keep the rodents under control. Next time we will try two kitties again. We did once before, they keep each other company and maybe stay around longer, protect each other? It's good in theory but it didn't work last time. I guess we will try again.
Even to me it seems a calloused attitude but it is one we all have had to learn in order to not experience the pain over and over again as they come to an untimely end. Phoebe was the one who spotted him and her first words were "I hate having pets", which of course really meant I hate the pain of losing a pet. Followed by big tears. So today in the Hancock household we are sad for our lost kitty and not yet ready to start over.

1 down an 2 to go

2011-07-23T16:19:00.000-05:00

I have three young couples in my Bible study class getting married. Amy and Josh are the first to go.
Phoebe and I say awwwww!

It's all good and I hope it rains...

2011-06-20T22:11:00.000-05:00

Well Phoebe and I were broken down on the side of the road but thankfully Bobby was able to come in a very short time, so we didn't expire from the heat.

Since then we have had hot winds blowing everyday - and we are ready for a break. Currently a line of storms are moving into the area. Lots of thunder and lightening with the promise of rain!!! Oh I HOPE SO!!

My plans this summer were to do two semesters of summer school. That was the original plan but I soon realized how much I was going to miss this summer. And the family was hating the fact I was having to say no to so many activities. We had the first day of VBS (ours takes place at night) and I was home alone studying. Late that night I could not sleep and was evaluating all the other events and trips I was going to have to say no to in order to make "A's" in the classes (which I need to do). These are a few picks of what I would be missing out on....

So by the time everyone woke up the next morning I had dropped all the classes. Dom (silly girl) called me the next day and sang "Beauty School Dropout" (from Grease). I laughed assuring her I haven't dropped out just taken the summer off, which of course she knew.

And I'm very glad. I made it to the rest of VBS last week, helping with the kindergarten and first grade group. On average we had 50 kids, one night we had 58. It was crazy but fun. Kids are so cute when you can send them home each night.

Well a good night to everyone. My 51st birthday was way better than I 50th last year, which I can honestly say was the worst birthday of my life. So I guess I didn't have to go far to improve on it.

But today was really good, the family let me sleep til I woke up (10:45) which was awesome. Bobby presented me with two new rose bushes (yipee!!!) one variety I have always wanted to have. And a special car window cleaner, shaped just right to clean the inside of the windshield. Then they took me to lunch at Cheddars. I did a little house cleaning then Phoebe and I met Bobby at the movies to see "The Green Lantern" which was fun and surprisingly good. So now we are just hanging out and hoping for rain.

Tomorrow I'll have to get up really early to beat the heat and plant my new roses.

Broken down on the side of the road

2011-06-16T15:42:00.001-05:00

And 4

2011-06-05T21:34:00.000-05:00

This is my grandbabies bedroom- it's so tiny that is hard to get a picture of it.

And 3

2011-06-05T21:32:00.000-05:00

Part 2

2011-06-05T21:31:00.002-05:00

What I did over the weekend

2011-06-05T21:31:00.001-05:00

Oh TWO whole days and it begins again...

2011-06-03T12:58:00.000-05:00

Well I have been chastised by my mother for not blogging but I have been crazy busy. I just finished a Flex term or Mini as it is called. Twelve days of crazy cramming. Thankfully it was in Speech but it was still very, very hectic. I start Summer I classes on Monday, Anatomy and Physiology 1 and a math (on line).

Unfortunately I'll have to drive to Van Alstyne about 30 minutes aways because the course on our campus was already full :( But it will just give me a taste of what I'll be doing in January driving to Denton, which is an hour away.

I am looking forward to keeping Gus next Thursday through Sunday so Dom and Luke can go to a wedding out of state.

I've found a new blog I am following. It is amazing and makes me wonder how come we all cling so tightly to our stuff, our comfort and our people. I wish I could be like Katie and check out of life as I know it - walk away and take love into a dark part of the world. I know that I can by going on a mission trip to Latvia or Mexico. I know I can by loving where I live and who I come across daily but that doesn't seem to take the same type of courage or sacrifice. I thank God for the young Katies of the church who decide to live life differently and walk at the very edge of sensibility to live out God's love to others.

It makes me aware of how self centered I live every day.

Check out Katie's blog at www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com

A short repreive

2011-05-15T14:03:00.000-05:00

Enzo talking to Phoebe on the phone

Gus in OT

Ruby just being all girl :)

Phoebe being Aunt Cibi

I have just a day or so to relax and then start a mini that lasts 14 days. It will be tough and very fast!

But I will be glad to finish fast too.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.

Hail!

2011-05-04T01:37:00.000-05:00

This was a recent storm that destroyed my hostas, sad sigh!
But thankfully nothing else was really damaged and I'm hoping they grow back.

Big SNAKE!

2011-04-14T21:40:00.002-05:00

This is what Bobby brought home for supper tonight. Well not really but it was a very big snack!!!!

I have good news I did get a scholarship, not the $1200 one but $800 and I was very happy with that.

I'm rounding third base of this semester and will have finals the second week of May. I plan to take a mini in May and both semesters of summer school. Fun, fun but I have to make some big progress before I'm old (heehee).

I get to go to Gus's therapy tomorrow and spend all day with Dom and him. Then I'll bring Ruby and Enzo home for a few days so Chuck and Ginger can work on their house.

I look forward to the next four days! I'm so blessed to have my kids close enough.

This is what I'm up to

2011-04-05T20:03:00.000-05:00

Along with all the school work I have and a final charge at the end of the semester, I am trying to write a paper for a scholarship.
Here is the little lady I am writing about.

Her name was Evorie Dillingham. She was a teacher and principal for over 40 years in Sherman.
I've dug up some of the most interesting facts about her. She lived to be 102. I love this picture. It makes me so curious about her life. I know she was a tiny woman, probably did not stand 5 ft tall. But there is so much more to a person than what they look like. And I find my self frustrated by the lack of personal info about her. There are many articles about her professionally but you don't understand the whole person from that perspective.
I know she never married or had children. Maybe that is why there is little to find and no one has kept her personal affects. I know that in WW1 over 40 of her previous students went off to war and she wrote corresponded with all of them. Many wrote her back. How many came home, I wonder? She called those letters her most treasured possessions, but no one knows what happened to them or where they might be.
I all makes me think about how all our striving on earth is really not going to last. Even if it is for a very good cause or helps people greatly. Someday it's all going to turn to dust and probably before that happens people will have long forgotten us and what we did.
I know this may sound a little depressing but it's not to me. It just helps me keep my focus on what is eternal. And that is people - our soul will live on after the body dies. That is what the big fuss in God's kingdom is all about. The opportunity for us to continue to live in relationship with God.
As I study hard for a good purpose, I have to remind myself, God has planted me in a mission field of friends and fellow students who can be eternal - our studies will not be.

We don't much like the idea that we will be forgotten. But in truth, man fails us (always) because we will be forgotten. But God knew us before we were a twinkle in our parents eye, He knew us before our parents existed and He wants us to know and relate to Him every moment of every day. That's reassuring!!!

When every one else forgets Lynne, some where down the road when I'm 102 or dead, God will still know me - I just love that!!!

Springbreak

2011-03-23T19:33:00.000-05:00

This was our trip to Dallas Blooms. And yes that is a very peculiar expression on my face! Not sure what I was thinking at the time but it certainly looks funny!

Spring Break!

2011-03-16T11:47:00.001-05:00

We are in Arlington for a few days this week on Spring Break. Bobby and Phoebe are going to Six Flags today and I am sitting in the Arlington Public Library (main branch) doing homework. Lots of it, but I'm glad because I don't enjoy Six Flags anymore and I really have a lot of homework, so it works for all of us.

When we left yesterday our yard was all torn up. It looked like a giant mole on acid had gone crazy in the yard! It looked very little like the picture I posted a few days ago.
A precious man in our church is donating his company and the supplies to put in a sprinkler system and we are so grateful! I can't wait to see how beautiful Bobby can make the yard when it is getting regular watering. It was hard for him to leave yesterday - he had spring fever to stay home and plant stuff! But it's a little early yet for our area we will still have some near freezing tempts until April arrives.

So last night took Phoebe to Medieval Times in Dallas. Here we are wearing our crowns. It was fun - tho a little pricey but we probably won't do it again...so it was worth it. Well got to get back to studies!!!

Irises about to bloom

2011-03-01T15:58:00.000-06:00

I know you probably can't see but my irises are getting ready to bloom.

A few pictures to catch up

2011-02-15T09:02:00.000-06:00

A funny skunk story. Well it's not funny we have skunks under our house. They have been stinking up the place for a while now. A man trapped one weeks ago (and took it off for us) but we knew there were some still there, pew! from the smell. Every time our heater kicked on it scared them an they sprayed. Phoebe and I saw a giant one after coming home from church one night, it waddled in front of us totally unconcerned that we were there.
Any way we just trapped another on Friday night. On Saturday morning two of our deacons come over to help Bobby deal with it. They shot it four times then moved the cage out into the field so the smell would go away. But I'm telling you the smell was already in the house, YUCK! That afternoon Bobby went out and lo, and behold the skunk was up walking around. So he called the deacons and told them there had been a "resurrection" and an unwanted miracle. We had our Valentines banquet planned for Sat night, so on the way to the banquet, right before dark, a sedan pulls into our drive. Inside were the two deacons and their wife's all dressed up but Dennis the driver pulls out his twenty-two and pops the skunk four more times. Then they back out and leave. It was so funny. When I got to church I told Bobby we had a "drive by in Pottsboro". Not the drive by you get in the city - that's for sure. That night who ever was left under the house was really angry or in mourning because skunk smell wafted up through the floor all night long. We finally opened all the windows Sunday to air things out, thankfully it was a warm day.

Here are a few pictures of the last two weeks. The first of last week Ginger and the kids came to visit from Sunday til Wednesday while Chuck was on a business trip. (Sorry Ginger I didn't get any pictures of you some how). Lots of playing and baby loving was going on. The kids are getting so big!

Then on Friday Dom and Gus came to visit and stayed til Sunday (through the skunk incident). Gus is doing so well. He is taking steps with help and I have no doubt that he will be off and running before too long. I'm glad they got to visit because he starts rounds of three different kinds of therapies and they will be very, very busy.

Speaking of busy - this snow and baby playing has distracted me so much I'm behind in my school work. I've got three tests and three projects all due by next Friday and I am trying to catch up. So I guess I'd better sign off and get to work.

A belated Happy Birthday to baby sister Laura, and congratulations to cousin Misa on her engagement!
I love all y'all. And my accumulated and adoptive "family"members like Martha and Wilynn who live far away from me. Hope your Valentines Day was so special and you felt the love of God in a unique way.

world of white

2011-02-04T19:09:00.001-06:00

Hannah (on the left) and Phoebe (on the right)

After a week of being stuck in the house due to snow and ice, Phoebe went crazy today and got Bobby to take her to town to get Hannah to come play. They went to the biggest hill around and sledded. They just couldn't get enough, wet and cold they were still ready to go back and hit it again. Maybe tomorrow.

Our drive way and the road have just about disappeared from sight. It's just a sea of white. Beautiful.
All day long it snowed. Big fat fluffy snow flakes. What was supposed to be a dusting turned out to be 4-6 inches. No ice this time.

This is where I have spent the last four days. I think we have burned about a house worth of wood. Thank you Scott and Dennis! I have stayed so toasty... watching the snow fall. Bobby has been more adventurous - out every day. Checking on our shut-ins, widows and widowers. Most everyone has been like us, content to stay in and stay warm.

The cold wind and warm sunshine

2011-01-25T13:58:00.000-06:00

It's been an interesting week or so. I am trying to find the correct balance between school work and real life. So far I'm adding back activities into my week with out being too stressed about study time.

I am liking the online class format and unless I'm just blowing it some way I think I will be able to keep a full time schedule even thru the summer and get as many credits done as possible in the short time frame.
I enjoy being able to complete the assignments any time and the freedom from time spent in the class room - time I often feel is wasted. But time will tell.

Phoebe has been sick with a stomach virus. She hates to miss classes because of the make up work and she prefers (don't we all) to be exempt from her finals. I'm hoping she will be back on track tomorrow. She left school yesterday around lunch but she did go today.

I am excited about the attendance in my Sunday school class. The group is finally gelling. Funny though about the time that happens - people get married or have babies(the married ones). Guess it's just that twenty something age.

This morning in my quiet time I was reading in 2 Kings 6-8 where I lesson for Sunday comes from. I don't know why people don't like the Old Testament! It totally rocks! Better than any movie! You will find the most amazing things there. Anyway, I'm not going to spoil it for you but in this section of scripture you can find a line Spielberg ripped right from the pages of the Bible for the original Star Wars movie. Elisha actually said it first - well Spielberg changed men to droids. Read it for yourself. I was in the NIV translation today when it hit me right between the eyes and I realized once again there is nothing new under the sun.

Star Wars

Go explore, have a giggle.....and see how very awesome God is - Elisha was a real man and his adventures really happened!

A very short post

2011-01-20T11:05:00.000-06:00

School has begun! I am taking: State/local government, US History (post Civil War to present), World Religions, Theater Appreciation, Math.

Since 4 of my classes are on line I'm still struggling to fix my time at home to accommodate study time. So today I just came to the library on campus. My only class on campus is at 12:30 on Tuesday/Thur sday.
I may just have to stay at school all day to make sure there are no interruptions for me to study.

It is snowing - don't know how long it will last but though it's cold, it's very pretty.

Got to study, hope everybody is staying warm and dry today!

Not a Holiday!!!

2011-01-17T12:35:00.001-06:00

Probably won't be making many calls for the next few days - so I thought I'd post what's got me distracted and then get back to the grind.

Well, I can tell its a Monday. The sky is gray. Bobby just told me that his truck wheel is about to fall off and the repair will be $900 paid up front. And I have completed only two of the eight sessions of online defensive driving that I have to get done before I start school tomorrow!

Yuck! I'm not a happy camper today. But poor Phoebe is worse off I think. She had an orthodontist appointment today. It was her regular appointment but one of her brackets had broken and it was the one she had to hook a rubberband to. They really worked her mouth over. They had to replace the broken bracket with a band for better "traction" and rewire her back up and she got a new lower band...that always hurts. But gum above the tooth on the replaced bracket was swollen and puffy. It took almost an hour and she was really hurting by the time it was all done.

I got her home, made her some scrambled eggs and drugged her up. We will be having soup tonight for sure. Poor thing.

Dom, Luke and Gus have finally succumbed to whatever is floating around Denton. Dom is feeling bad, Luke is toughing it out and going to work any way and Gus is running fever. But so far they are fighting thru it. Pray for quick healing.

Ginger is waiting for Chuck to get home from London. I know they will all be glad to see each other - he has been gone more days than he has been home since the first of the year. She will need some sanity time I'm sure, being a single mom is tough!

Well gotta get back to the grind, rrrrrr! But I'm not sleeping til I get this sorry defensive driving finished!

Burning the note on our building

2011-01-16T11:14:00.000-06:00

Loving to snow!

2011-01-09T12:58:00.001-06:00

Friday and a trip to Denton

2011-01-07T13:53:00.000-06:00

The last week has been productive and fun. The productive part - working on taxes. Putting away all Christmas stuff and cleaning the house. Organizing and getting ready for the new year. Working on new discipleship materials for our group and planning with our Women's Ministry for the coming year.

This week started off with an early call on Monday morning. 4:30 am to be exact. We went to our local news station and to be interviewed about our participation in Big Brothers Big Sisters for a segment on January being "National Mentoring Month". I was not supposed to be asked any questions - did not even have a mic on but well it went differently. I was glad when she said my name the camera wasn't on my face because I was thinking "Oh shoot! What am I going to say!!!!" A less than three minute segment and we are not famous yet :) Here is a link if you want to watch the interview. http://www.kxii.com/searchresults?searchKeywords=big+brothers+big+sisters&dateRange=60

Any way the week started off really early for me. Then Phoebe went back to school on Tuesday. We are still trying to find that school groove as far as bedtimes and waking up. Then Ginger and the kids came up on Wednesday. We celebrated Enzo's first birthday on Thursday the 6th and today I am spending the night with Dom and Luke finally celebrating Christmas with them on our way to Carson's wedding at Glen Rose on Saturday.

Wow I think I need to go back to school to get unbusy! It's been a good week so I can't complain. AND I get to see Momma and Daddy and Jenny and her family tomorrow. Maybe even some cousins from Houston if they get to come. More later.

Happy New Year

2011-01-01T17:20:00.000-06:00

Didn't get crazy last night. Just visited with our friends the Pope's who had just flown in from Cuba. Yes, Cuba! I didn't know you could actually go visit but evidently they did. After looking at their pictures and hearing about their trip we came home and I went to bed at 10:00. Sad right but really I just don't get too excited about the "dropping of the ball" any more.

Phoebe had a friend over and they stayed up. Not sure where Bobby was - I know he had to go check on the youth lock in that was going on at church. But I slept the new year in. When I got up today, I found a sink full of dirty dishes, half taken down Christmas decorations all over the place and a mound of laundry. I was tempted to go back to bed. But since I hadn't waken up until 10:30 (I have a good excuse really, I was at a Women's Ministry planning lock in and didn't go to sleep til 2:00 on Thursday night) this morning I figured I'd better get busy and clean, cause it wasn't going to go away by it's self.

I'm still fighting the symptoms of the cold Phoebe and I shared this last week. I guess it's going to hang on for a while. But I managed to get all the decorations put away (believe me it's a lot!), rearrange the funiture, and start on the wash. The house is almost back to "new year" ready and I just finished fixing a big pot of cabbage/ham and potato soup - it's yummy. I promised to call Laura today so I'm about to sit down and give her a call. Maybe catch my other sisters too, if I'm lucky. Though I did talk to Jana recently.

It's always a strange place to me - the first day of the new year. I'm really not a resolution maker so it's not a day of reflection and planning. I pretty much just want the day to be fresh and new. No old decorations hanging around, no unfinished business, etc. I think that this year the thing I want most is for the year to be absolutely nothing like last year. That's about as reflective as I get to day.

I am excited about my discipleship group and where it is going next in study. I am starting another large group discipleship and will be interested to see who God draws into the group. I am excited about my next set of classes and hope my brain hasn't died since last semester ended. I am excited about getting my electricity fixed in my back room so I can sew and recover my couches. I'm not so excited about having to take defensive driving (even online) to take care of a ticket I got. I'm excited that Ginger will be graduating soon.

I hope that my motorcycle sells. I'm excited to see what is the next thing God leads us to do at GBC. I'm excited to see Ruby, Gus and Enzo growing and changing every time I see them and I'm sad they are all growing up so fast. I count my blessings to keep my mind focused on God and how awesome He is. I wonder what I'll be thinking on New Years Day of 2012.

I love y'all and Happy New Year!

Christmas is over...well sort of

2010-12-27T14:58:00.000-06:00

This year it seems like we put a million miles on Bobby's truck. Not exactly but our trip to Kentucky and back, then driving to Crowley on Christmas day makes it seem like a lot. The trip to "King of the Bluegrass" High School basketball tournament turned out to be more fun than I expected. Football has always been my favorite sport. But getting to be behind the scenes, hearing the coaching and watching the guys pre-game made the game that more exciting. You can follow the link below and see some pictures of the final. We got to know Tony Kimbro, Daniel Ross and Tony Price the best. Tony is 6'11" and we got a pic of Phoebe next to him - she looks so short! We had fun.
http://www.highschoolsports.net/local/Louisville/gallery/King-of-the-Blurgrass-final-588/#2877501
Well until we started home that night when Bobby got sick.

While were driving down the highway he kept saying his stomach really hurt (I thought it was just too much excitement - he got to sit on the bench each game) but suddenly he pulled off the highway and on the access road he stopped at the stop sign and just "ralphed" it all up out the window. People passing us probably thought he was just another drunk who had too much to drink. Bless his heart, he didn't have time to get the door open just stuck his head out the window. Needless to say we found the first motel and checked in. I drove most of the way home the next day while he slept. Thankfully he was better by Christmas. And thankfully neither Phoebe or I got that kind of sick. Though Phoebe psyched herself out by thinking about it and felt nauseous most of the way home.

Chuck and his family came up Christmas Eve and we all went to the candlelight service at church then opened presents that night since we had to get up early and drive to Crowley. The kids were precious but not feeling quite themselves. Ginger had the cold first earlier in the week and the kids were sick by Friday. I don't know if Chuck missed it completely or not. But we had a nice Christmas at Euna's and came home Saturday night to be at church on Sunday.

After church we just relaxed thankfully - tho Bobby had to go make a few visits! We went to see a movie in the late afternoon. We wanted to see "True Grit" but had to see "Tron" instead - too crowded in the first movie to get a good seat. Tron was ok, but I really wanted to see True Grit. Bobby and Phoebe have not seen the original so maybe it's better to wait.

I got sick with a cold on Saturday and Phoebe came down with it last night. Just a runny nose and stuffy head but one of those annoying colds that just makes you feel bad enough to stay in bed. We were supposed to go to Denton this Tuesday night and have Christmas with our children and families, Chuck/Ginger, Dom/Luke but I don't think we are going to expose Gus. Which is sad for us to not even be able to be all together but Dom and Luke have had enough challenges this year, they don't need to end the year sick. And we can see each other and celebrate after the first of the year.

I hope Ginger and the kids are better today. Phoebe and I have a big fire in the fireplace and are snuggled in covers watching the History Channel. And dozing off and on. Bobby is working and called earlier to tell me we are $30K short of the needed $230K faith challenge. On New Years Eve a family will write a matching funds check. So if no more funds come in it will be a $200K check. And we will pay off $400K of the $460K we still owe on our building. I hope the remaining $30K comes in. But you know even if it doesn't God has done an incredible work in our church in the last two months. People have given sacrificially and generously.

To think that two months ago there was no plan in place and the church had $460K on a note on our building. People have done their individual part to come up with the $200K, there hasn't been one huge gift but many of different sizes and amounts. Many in our community have commented how crazy the challenge is and really didn't think it would be met. I think that is exactly why God has moved the hearts of people to step up and meet the challenge. It is so exciting to see, especially in such hard economic times when the tendency is to hold on to what you have "just in case". So many have found ways to give. And what a great way to start the new year - debt free! Wow - (congress should take note of how God works!)

Well, I don't much more to say at the moment probably because my brain is full of drugs (I hope the previous has been relatively coherent). I really want to get back on my feet and feel better. Got to take down the Christmas stuff and get ready to start the new year. Plus I have my long list of tasks to get to before I start school again. Dom is betting against me getting any of them done - and she might be right :)
You might check out her blog for cute pics of Gus's first Christmas. I'm not sure Chuck's blog has any up yet. I'll post some when I get them from Bobby and Phoebe's phones - they took most of ours this year. I'm going to try and be a more frequent blogger in 2011 - so back to you soon.

How cute is that?

2010-12-13T19:50:00.001-06:00

We have been chillin' up here in Pottsboro. Last Friday and Saturday Ruby and Enzo spent the night with us. Ruby is at that age where all that's Christmas delights her. She was especially fascinated by the gingerbread house that Phoebe made. Amazingly she did not try to pull the candy off to eat it. But she smelled it frequently and had more fun just holding it.

Enzo was a great trooper but missed his mama a little more than his big sister. He will soon turn one - it's so hard to believe! He is such a happy baby (except when he is hungry). It was a tough on both having their schedules change and being in a different place but they were great.

Due to our crazy holiday schedule I really haven't had any down time until today. And I did go work at "Visions of Sugar Plums" a non-profit that provides food to children in the community during the holidays and summer (when they are out of school). It's a great program and the staff has helped pack food the last few years.

I got my grades today and made A's that made me happy. I'm taking 5 classes next semester and then a spring mini. Trying to get thru fast as possible! But I'm taking full advantage of the Christmas break and giving my brain a rest. My task list only includes things like, recovering a love seat, some random sewing, working on taxes(yuck! but necessary) and a few household projects I've been putting off. The only reading I'll be doing is a few crime novels and the Christmas cards that come in the mail.

It's been a really tough year. There aren't really words to explain how difficult it has been to just "live" through it. It has been a year of separations and the unknown. The year started with three months of renovating the rent house in Arlington in tandem with visiting Gus in the hospital until his surgery and then after. Meanwhile, Bobby's dad continued to sicken with his cancer and Bobby spent as much time with him as possible in Crowley. We spent the spring dealing with his burial and a trip to Kentucky. The summer was spent in separate places too. Phoebe and I took a trip to Ruidoso to see Momma and Daddy, then she and Bobby took off to Mexico for mission trip and then back to Kentucky for his family reunion. I had gallbladder surgery, started school with Phoebe in the fall and have had my head buried in a book ever since it seems like. Been to Houston to for Luke's surgery and still managed to finish the semester in time to fly into the Christmas party merry-go-round.

When I list it all it seems so clinical and not nearly as traumatic as it really was. The year was so full of emotional ups and downs there were, and are times, I have shut down emotionally just to survive. I'll be glad to see this year end! And I am praying for a peaceful, healthy (for all my loved ones but especially the Callenders) joyful 2011.

Through it all I have been taught so much. Probably the biggest lesson learned, compassion and grace.
Compassion for those people I've never seen or really thought about before. All the time I've spent in hospitals this year has educated me about a life I've never lived. Those people, who have spent countless hours in doctor's offices, waiting rooms, labs and hospitals. Both the patients and the families. My heart hurts for them at this time of year, but all the time, knowing how real life gets put on hold for who knows how long. A permanent suspension of "real life", like a black hole that sucks the reality right out of your universe. Not to mention the fear of the future and when life returns to normal- like how do you pay those bills.

I have lived a life so blessed and free of health problems prior to this year. God has opened my eyes and my heart to suffering and survival I haven't understood til now. And the realization and understanding of unabated pain, heart and physical pain, has made me have a grace and understanding of for people with addictions that I haven't been capable of before. It's so easy to look at someone trying to dowse their pain in alcohol, swallow it with pills or any way they can find to check out of reality and their pain - and make statements about what they should do. But after this year my heart is so soft towards the hurting. Probably for the first time in my life I truly understand the need to survive the pain at any price.

Thankfully, God has walked beside me through it all. With out His presence I know I would have drown my fear in a bottle, popped first one pill to be happy and then one to sleep. Without His assurance that it wasn't too much for me to bear, I would have crawled into the middle of my bed and stayed there wanting to fall asleep forever. And believe me, I certainly have had more than one moment in this year I just wanted the pain, uncertainty and disruption to stop. I am so grateful He has been my rock, His love has anchored me when the storm of this year rushed over me and refused to subside.

My prayer for all my loved ones is that they would know that perfect peace I've run to this year in my moments, days and months of fear, pain, sickness and search for relief or answers. Life is going to deliver some hum-dingers, this year was a good example, but God is dependable, promise-keeping and will never fail. That's the best Christmas present I can give you - the absolute knowledge that He will not leave you, ever. He is how I have survived. He is the only living God who in His great love for us made a way for us that our sin would never separate us from Him.

I don't know how people survive life with out Him!

Happy Dance

2010-12-08T11:22:00.001-06:00

Yes, I am doing the happy dance, finals over for this semester!!!
Hellooooooo, holidays!

Back in the saddle

2010-11-14T14:39:00.000-06:00

After arriving home on Wednesday, it has taken me three full days to figure out life at home again. Thankfully, Bobby and Phoebe did a fantastic job keeping house and taking care of themselves while I was gone. So all I really had to do was slip back into church and school life.

Friday I hit the ground running at school - expecting to take two exams over material I missed. But God and my instructors we great! One test was postponed and the other my professor insisted I wait and take on Monday. So, I was given the whole weekend to catch up on studies and with no house work to distract me I feel caught up.

Saturday was very full of church activities. In the morning I worked at Habitat for Humanity. Whitney, a young woman I am mentoring has a Little Sister (from Big Brothers/Big Sisters) and her mom had qualified for a Habitat house. Our church took 30 people to put up sheet rock and we also had three visitors who wanted to help. It was a great day and God is doing awesome things through the willing hearts of people at Georgetown.

Another amazing thing that has happened at church is a Faith Challenge we have encountered. Our church has $460,000 in debt remaining on our building. A couple has come forward saying they would like to challenge our church to match their gift of $230,000 and pay off the debt by January 1, 2011.

Their gift is pretty wild but how God is using it to lead other people to give is really incredible. Our church is not over all a wealthy group. To come up with $230K at the holidays and end of the year plus a dismal economy would be challenging but to do it in 2 months is a God sized challenge.

And yet we are seeing some phenomenal things happen. One little boy put out a jar for donations and collected $150. Several young married couples who don't have much cash are putting on a huge garage sale. We have seen people come up with all kinds of ideas and ways to give. Like sell their jewelry, cash in bonds, sell vehicles. We have seen gifts of $10K and $100, each given sacrificially and with joyful hearts - everyone doing their part.

I don't have any idea how God will make this happen but I believe He will to show His greatness and ability to the world in what appears to be insurmountable odds. It's so like Him. Take an impossible situation and do the opposite of what any one could predict or expect. Keep us in your prayers as we wait expectantly and watch with excitement to see how God is going to do this great thing in our midst.

Saturday evening our activities continued. Well for the ladies anyway. Phoebe and I went at 2:30 and helped do the cooking for our Women's ministry "Dinner and A Movie" Night. Usually all the ladies come early and help cook but this time it was just the ministry team, plus Phoebe, doing the cooking. We watched "It's a Wonderful Life", one of our favorites. It was great fun and has us all in the mood for the holidays.

I won't get to see Dom and her family at Thanksgiving - so I was grateful to have the chance to keep Gus at the hospital while Luke had surgery and recovered. They are doing well and are very happy to be home. It was a wonderful time for me to bond with my sweet Gus, I've never had the opportunity to spend large amounts of time with him. Thankfully we had fun and he loves his Grami after all. He is delightful and funny, though I have to work hard to get a chuckle from him - he's a lot like his dad. Though I make Luke laugh most of the time with out meaning to...I was very happy to see his snarky funny sense of humor come back as he begin to feel better. Keep them all in your prayers, his will be off work for 12 weeks.

I went on Thursday as usual to keep
Ruby and Enzo, got lots of baby love to catch up since I had missed a week with them due to the surgery. It will be great fun at Thanksgiving this year, Ruby will have a blast! Enzo is still army crawling every where, so he'll have fun but it will be another year before we have to wonder where they both have gotten to. I hope the weather is cool but not messy so we can get out side with them and play. I am so ready for some family, fun and food!

Well, I need to go study a bit before it gets too late in the day. Bobby talked about going to see the train movie, Denzel Washington is in tonight. So just in case that happens I want to get all my homework and study time in. It may not happen but I've learned it's best to plan ahead - when it comes to my school work. Scheduling real life and school has been quite a challenge but I think I've finally got a handle on it. It requires much projection and guestimation, calendaring and planning, plus many late nights studying in order to get it all in. Honestly about 4 weeks ago I felt like I was drowning and was sure I had to cut my hours next semester, but I think I've finally figured out how to get everything done. I admit I've had to say no to some things I would like to do or normally would do but it is just for a season. I'm already looking at the catalog to see what classes are available and what I need to take next.

I've done with a lot less sleep and made my brain hurt on a regular basis these last few months but I really have enjoyed school and the learning process. I still haven't settle on a major. I'm just doing basics and have a few semesters yet before it becomes critical. My heart still wants to do Physical Therapy but I just don't know it that is really where God is leading. When I look at the time frame my mind says it's not practical but this just hasn't left my heart. I plan to shadow someone in their job next semester and see if it's really still where I think I want to work.

But I am mostly praying for God to just show me clearly and if that's not it to take away the desire and point me in the right direction. I know for sure that I will be the kind of person that needs to work once my last chick leaves the nest. But as my age I know it's got to be something that energizes me and that I love. To do something for the money alone is not worth it, I'd rather just cut cost and live thin than to work at a job I dislike.

Thankfully, Bobby is so supportive and has encouraged me to stick with it and keep a full time schedule. I think he just wants to be able to say "I'm married to a college sophmore", instead of freshman...HaHa! No really it has been so helpful for me to know that he supports my choice in this.

Okay - now I really do have to study - Have a great week, my family and I will see you soon!

Almost HOME

2010-11-10T15:05:00.000-06:00

     Gus and I left Houston this morning at 5:00 am. I couldn't have asked for an easier baby or an easier five hour ride. We got to Denton and unloaded all the baby stuff from my car. Fed him and he promptly scooted all over the house in his walker.
I have some adorable video of him rolling around in his bed, can't it will load but I'll try later. But he covered every inch of the bed, he is SO happy to be home.
     Dom and Luke should arrive soon and I know they will both be very happy to be home as well. Luke is doing better and regaining his sense of humor as the days go by. His face still has some swelling and he will still have some recovery time but home is a great place to do it. Matthew, his brother, living in Denton helps and his friend Ben will be a good distraction as well. I suspect he will still have some time before he regains his stamina and there are many restrictions on him, like no bending over, lifting, etc.
     Dom left her house in great shape, so they will be able to unpack and relax! A welcome relief after the stress of the last few weeks. Hopefully the remainder of this year will bring rest, health and some Happy Holidays!
   I should get home sometime around 5, I hope. Phoebe has been "momsick" and Bobby is ready for life as normal. My instructors have all been great and I hope to catch up in my classes just in time to finish the semester. The weather is beautiful and the leaves are turning. Soon it will be Thanksgiving. I was blessed to have this special time with Gus, Dom and Luke since we won't get to see them for the holidays. But I'm ready for the rest of the family fun.
   When I stayed the one night with Jenny, Cybil called me everything but Aunt Lynne (that's ok Cybbie, I call my kids by the wrong names all the time) but we had some sweet chats. All Jenny's kids are getting bigger and Collin reminds me of Calvin Russell at this age. I'm sad Laura, Dale and the kids won't be coming, but I know how hard it is changing jobs, moving and all. I keep saying I'm going to get out there to visit - I know Laura - I just have to do it!!!
   I have more to say but gotta run. Big boy Gus is calling....

Everyday? really...

2010-10-20T10:32:00.000-05:00

Well I am convinced that I do need to change the blog title to "when I come up for air"!

Mid-terms and real life are competing for brain space and I am just trying to survive the crazy schedule.
I can remember way back when, and I do remember being able to handle a huge flood of info into the brain. Currently my head feels like a leaky cup, not only have I poured too much in and it's overflowing the top but I am aware of a slow leak somewhere else as well.

The challenge is to keep doing the things I love while I feel overwhelmed so I'll keep doing all the necessary things.

Here are a few pics from this week - I know I post many of Ruby and Enzo compared to Gus, but that's because I keep them each week. I see Gus, too, most weeks but Dom has such a great camera - I usually just get copies of her pics because they are such better quality. I'll post a bunch of Gus the week I'm in Houston for Luke's surgery.

Looking 4 daddy monster

2010-10-19T13:15:00.001-05:00

Cute or what!

2010-10-14T21:36:00.001-05:00

So disappointed!

2010-10-06T12:02:00.001-05:00

Got an 85 on my history exam. That was including 5 bonus points. And I knew almost every question I missed but I just had test anxiety :(
I hate that!!!!

Procrastination

2010-10-03T15:26:00.000-05:00

Okay I am really procrastinating and I know I'll regret it!

I've been setting up a blog for my Sunday Bible study class. Tweaking my blog design. Looking at the stats tab to see who looks at this blog, when and where they are from. I've had views from Canada, Ukraine and Luxembourg. Pretty sure those were, "oops"es.

I've watched my family sleep. I've sent practice pics from my phone to my blog. I've tried to doze off my self. I've done just about everything except my homework.

So I am now officially signing off and no more procrastination. Well, okay, now.
No really :)

Sunday naps

2010-10-03T15:11:00.001-05:00

School and other more important things.

2010-09-29T10:28:00.000-05:00

I've enjoyed having Ginger and the kids here for the last four days. Enzo is just sweet natured all the time (as long a you feed him) and happy with life in general. And Ruby is entertaining all the time with her constant patter about life. Watching her play and talk to her toys/babies, romp around in the yard, swing, watch a movie, mimic Bobby's silly faces - what ever she is doing is fun to watch.

This morning when she got up, she came down the hall into the back room and announced she woke up!
Bobby observed every morning is like Christmas for Ruby (maybe all the time) but especially at our house because she knows it's another day of getting to play!

The house will be quiet today since they have gone home. And I'll get back to studying - I've been a little distracted. Duh!

You may have heard by now that we got the news Monday that Luke's brain tumor is back. Dom is handling it very philosophically. There is some comfort in having done this before. For Luke, though I haven't talked to him yet, I think it must be very challenging and inconvenient. Before they weren't married yet, now he must feel the weight of responsibility for two other people and a great financial burden as being the sole provider.

Please pray for all three. Gus has been sick for a week with a terrible cold, Dom came down sick on Sunday I think, and now Luke appears to be getting it too. Just pray they can all recover fully and as quickly as possible.

Gus has an appointment on Friday with the Immunologist and they should get a report about how if at all his immune system is impaired. We are praying hard that this will be a good report in the middle of a really tough week.

Luke will have follow up appointments at MD Anderson in Houston to determine if surgery is necessary and when. At this point we don't really have any idea what will come next. The financial burden of Gus just having a cold has cost them $200 already this week - you know how that goes - and the expense of Luke having to travel to Houston for his appointment.

We covet your prayers for God's abundant provision! Now and in the future. As Dom and I talked on Monday, she said,"Mom, I know God has a plan", and though right now, I can not understand it at all I am having faith that He does. How bad does it sound to ask God to pick on someone else? I'm not mad at Him, my heart just begs for relief for the kids. In circumstances as well as relief from the financial burden.

Right now we have a great and huge need for hope. So as you pray today, please ask God to show both Dom and Luke in a multitude of ways, signs of His hope for them. Like Dom says there is no reason to believe the worst - we just have to wait and see.

Please pray for all of us as we wait.

This might not work

2010-09-20T15:28:00.000-05:00

Well - government has me busy today

2010-09-20T11:00:00.000-05:00

Monday finds me trying to keep up with all the essays and out of class projects that will be due next week. One of them is my government essay. The topic is: "Does watching the Daily Show and the Colbert Report serve a citizenship purpose or do these shows serve only an entertainment purpose?"

I had never watched these shows until this assignment. I know it's crazy - I just don't watch that much TV. But I have to be less clueless to complete this assignment - so Phoebe and I watched a few. I know my opinion in answer to the question - oh that it would be that easy - but of course I have to have an informed opinion. In other words do other notable people support my opinion. So I'm spending a hour or so in the library trying to find a notable person of like mind. This is when I wish I had the google skills of the younger generation. (I'm getting better at digging thru the glut of internet garbage - yeah all those self-important blog pundits like me).

Anyway - now you know what I'm doing with my extra time. I'm going to load up some really cute babies now. Pictures are worth much more than my words!

Middle of the week

2010-09-15T10:24:00.000-05:00

It's hump day and I'm really ready for it to be Friday instead. Taking just a minute to say hi and then I have to study.

I'm currently in the Library using the wifi and it's so fast! I really hate getting on line at home any more - the speed is spoiling me. I looked into getting a different interenet server but it's just too expensive to change at the present. So we are stuck with the aircard for a while longer. Sigh :(

Life is really starting to get busy. It seems like three nights out of the week we are out somewhere. I am becoming a homebody. No, I've probably always been a homebody but at this time I would probably be happy being a hermit. I think it's the homework...much coming do all at once.

I don't know how Chuck is doing it working 40hrs a week and classes at night. Oh wait he is smarter and younger!!! I pray for both he and Ginger as they try to finish up their degrees and raise their babies too.

Can't wait til Thanksgiving - hoping the weather will be cooler and get to see everyone!

Well really gotta run. Hope you are having a great week

What a bunch of cute babies

2010-09-08T15:26:00.000-05:00

Ruby

Ok Mama I can't get the video up and working but here are a few sweet pics.

Gus Enzo

Tomorrow I'll get to see all the babies again. I'm so blessed to be close enough to see them often. I'm sad for grandparents whose children and grandchildren have to geographically be far away. There is just nothing like kissing those sweet baby checks and holding their little (but getting bigger to quick!) bodies. I won't study til I get home tomorrow that's for sure!

Yahoo a long weekend

2010-09-03T10:32:00.000-05:00

In all reality it will probably be too short, but I'm ready for it either way.
Phoebe and I have plans to do some school clothes shopping tomorrow. We waited to buy until now for several reasons and she has been really patient. I insisted she go through her closet before I bought anything so she would know what she needed. And she did. She has grown so much, got some womanly hips happening. Though I think her shoe size has stayed the same for a while now. She would like it to grow a little more so she can wear/share my shoes, but I don't think it's going to happen. She might outgrown me in height tho, she is still getting taller every day. I make her flattened down all those curls when we stand back to back and she hasn't passed me up yet.

Any way we will have fun shopping. Sunday will be a busy day and so far we don't have plans for Monday but I'm sure that we be somewhere having fun. I am really struggling to squeeze enough study time in. For some reason the history and government reading I need to do just keeps getting shoved off my to do list. So I'll spend every spare minute trying to catch up. I've also got two projects I need to get started. That's why I'm sitting here in the library, though I'm obviously not working on either of them.

Today is just beautiful! Though this week we had some really rough weather. On Wednesday the tornado siren went off three times and they had us standing in the hall way for 30 minutes. A power line fell on a dorm and made the power go off for a bit, thankfully that was all the damage. But today it's in gorgeous with a promise of fall floating in with the cold front. SO I guess I'd better get off and get my homework started so I can go to the first home football game tonight and enjoy my self without guilt or pressure.
Have a great Labor Day weekend!

Another Monday but hopes of rain

2010-08-30T12:21:00.000-05:00

I think I'm finally getting some sense of routine. My body is still waking me up at 5:30 - alarm clock or not. So I guess I'm going to be really unhappy over Christmas break when I can sleep in but can't.
In the mean time it's useful and I can get a lot done before I ever leave for school.

The change in routine because of school has been pretty pervasive in our lives. Ever since we moved Bobby took Phoebe to school in the mornings and I picked her up. Actually he has done that since we sold the lawn care business. It just worked for us and gave him a special time with her. But since Phoebe and I have the same schedule and the high school is right on the way, I've been dropping her off most mornings. Bobby voice-mailed me today telling me it was really strange, getting ready in the morning and me not being a lump in the bed. Usually he has to be quiet and only turn on the lamp to keep from waking me. So life at our house is feeling really different for all of us.

Sunday afternoon was spent on reading and homework, normally I'd take a nap. I sure did want one, when I finally dropped in to bed I was asleep in a heart beat. Bobby tells me not to study so hard but I'm just trying to get ahead. In two of my classes my professors have prolonged absences and they expect you to just figure it all out. Both are big lecture classes - so I'm scrambling trying to stay ahead of the curve. In my history class - we don't even go to the classroom for two weeks!

Anyway, enough school stuff. Sunday was great we had a large number of people join. About four families I think. Labor Day Sunday we will be at the lake again this year (as a church) baptizing and we have a whole bunch to do, since we haven't baptized all year. Our little chapel where the baptistery is only hold about a hundred people and we would love to have a portable baptistery. But for now the lake will do. It's great fun and we have a fish fry for dinner.

Bobby was very happy with the huge response in the service on Sunday. And noted that after a week that kept him running every which way, fishing for the fish fry, two funerals, tons of counseling, etc God was good despite Bobby's ability to juggle all the balls. So weeks are easier than others but some (like last week) are just killers. He will go fishing in the morning again. This week I hope is a little slower.

Phoebe is in so many Pre-AP classes that she has a reading list a mile long. But I think she is doing fine. She is smart enough for sure. I don't want her to take after me. I had a blast in high school but never really applied my self. And I certainly was at a loss as to what came next. We are trying to give her some direction and help her find out what she is good at. She will tell you it's not sports so it's going to be smarts.

I look forward to Thursday and seeing all the babies again. Dom said Gus has a runny nose. She has had some problems last week so he must have got it from her. Either way, we are praying he has GREAT immunities and will fight it off just fine. Luke is still waiting to hear about a position change with his job, but he is doing well.

Chuck and Ginger are knee deep in college classes. babies and small animals. Their two puppies and kitty are cute. And you know what I think of the babies of course.

Well no promises on how soon I'll post again but I had a class dismiss early and thought I'd get something up before the week rolls away.

The first week of school

2010-08-28T08:54:00.000-05:00

Finally I'm back after a long hiatus.

Both Phoebe and I survived the first week of school. She loves her friends and it's too early for all the drama yet. I'm still trying to figure out how to do it all! The homework demands and outside projects, wash, dinner and feeding the cat, church stuff and life just seem to all be vying for a slot in my 24 hour day.

Every morning I'm up at 5:30, trying to squeeze in my quiet time before all the craziness begins. This morning I was up at the same time - I think after 50 years my body clock is changing - though I would have loved to sleep! Bobby wandered in to where I was studying about 7:30, looked at me strangely, "took my temperature" and muttered "this is just not right". He must think I've been abducted by aliens or something.

And it is strange for me too. Not something I particularly like but I just don't see how I can get it all in if I don't start really early.

Classes so far have been fine. I have a first year teacher for my math class and tho he's engaging - his communication skills need refining. Already I've discovered the only way to survive that class is to be chapters ahead and use the online book website for tutoring. So far I'm not too concerned - not sure it will remain that way. (Cathy, may have to be doing some tutoring at Thanksgiving for me.) Phoebe assures me she can help me anytime - she's math smart.

My government and history classes are ok too. Government isn't my favorite but the teacher tries to make it interesting. History I really like. Always have like the subject and my teacher is actually a PHD. She is funny and makes it very entertaining.

My last class is a fluff class...Learning Framework. Supposedly I'll discover how I learn best. I think I know that already but who knows it may show me something new. Either way it's not too demanding.
Thankfully I have two hour breaks during my MWF schedule and I can get some study time and work done in the Library on projects at school.

With that schedule though my MWF's gone by the time I pick up Phoebe. We eat and do homework and go to bed. Tuesday is the only day I have to take care of home business. Thursday's I go to Denton to keep Grandbabies - that is fun and a relief!

Bobby is very supportive and loves telling everyone he is dating a hot college freshman, HA!
I am very grateful I have him in my corner. He always tells me I can do anything - I love that unconditional confidence from him.

The whole school experience is changing approach to my Bible study class on Sunday mornings. 90% of the kids in the class are college students as well. In the midst of my sense of feeling overwhelmed by reading and assignments I'm realizing for Bible study to appeal to them it's going to have to look different. I'm also very convicted of the huge mission field Grayson County College is for our church. Bobby and I were talking about this last night, just like the lake, tons of people are in our area on our very door step - what does ministry to them look like. It's unique and we are praying God will show us what it looks like. In the mean time we just keep being the light where we go. It's all I know to do.

Physically I think I'm recovered from my gallbladder surgery. Over all I lost about 20 pounds and I'm down to a 8/9 size again. I say again, but I haven't see that size pant since before Phoebe was born. I'm trying to eat carefully and keep it off. I think my body was just being made sick from the gallbladder I'm not sure it that had much to do with the weight but I can do my part to keep it off. My busy schedule makes it fairly easy.

The air this morning, yes at 5:30, was so and crisp and for a moment it felt like fall was on the way. I hope so. Last night Pottsboro had their first football, only Phoebe went, but it's that time of year. We need rain badly and we would love to have some cool days soon. We will see. Daddy calls me on a regular basis to taunt me about the cool weather they are having...but come January when they are buried under snow I'll be getting the last laugh. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving already. The grandbabies will be a blast and I can hardly wait to see everyone. I'm praying for my babysister over in Australia - hope she is doing well. Momma and Daddy have been keeping me posted.

Not sure if I'll post more before next Sat but till then have a great week.

For My Momma

2010-08-23T20:55:00.000-05:00

It has been a long time since I posted and this one won't be too long.
But just a quick note to make my Momma happy and tell about my first day at school.

Phoebe started today at Pottsboro High School as a sophomore. It's hard to believe that statement.

After turning 50 in June and seeing how close she is to leaving home, I looked at the future and wondered what I'm doing for the rest of my life.

So I enrolled full time at our local community college attempting to get all those basics done so I can do something for real.

I went back to school about five years ago but life got in the way. So I figured these next few years I could make use of the time by going to school and saving the "going to work" until after Phoebe graduates.

I have four classes. Basic Math - it seems I'll never get out of the remedial stage. I wish I had mastered all that back in high school but honestly I just didn't get it. It's not so hard now, I just feel like it's wasted time.

Next I have US Government and US History. Both I think I'll enjoy but lots of memory work. And finally a fluff class called Learning Framework.

No surprise I'm the oldest in my classes. I could be the mother of even the older students. So it's an interesting perspective. And I'm always thinking what babies they are and how hard a time they are having figuring out what to do with the rest of their life.

I'm glad not to be at that place in life again. When I think about the choices I made at that time of my life, not such good ones maybe, but I didn't know who I was back then. It's not that the direction I took in my education was wrong, it just didn't produce a sustainable career. Today I looked at the kids in my classes, like myself, can see they don't know themselves either. Even the ones who think they know what they want to do are mostly influenced by external forces - parents, friends, money.

It's been a thoughtful day.

I am confident I'm going to be very busy for a while. So the posts may be infrequent...but Momma I'll try to do a better job.

Bobby and Phoebe

2010-08-10T14:09:00.000-05:00

Been too busy recovering from gallbladder surgery to feel like posting. But here is Bobby and Phoebe in Chiapas. He just carried her down a muddy Boursin in the rain.
Looks like they had fun!

Ready for the world travelers to come home!

2010-07-26T22:08:00.000-05:00

It's been quite some time since Bobby and Phoebe left for Mexico. The week they were there I washed clothes. Put things away. Did little projects and drove to Denton every day to keep Ruby and Enzo for Ginger. As soon as Bobby and Phoebe got off the plane last friday they got in the truck and drove to Kentucky for his family reunion.

So my house has been clean for eleven days straight. No clothes strewn about - her bath room clean, no towels in the floor. No extra shoes sitting in the living room floor. And no dirty dishes in the sink, or anywhere for that matter.
And it's been very quiet too.

But I am really ready for them to come home. It's too quiet and too clean. Never thought I'd say that.

I'm in Kennedale tonight at Jana's. I have a surgeons appointment tomorrow to find out when they will take out my gallbladder (yea!) so I stayed the night to visit with everyone, since Jess and Camden are in for the week. Dom came down too and it was so sweet to see she and Jess sit around and visit as Mama-cousins. Jana and I both said it's so weird to see this happening. Time flies!

It just seems like yesterday that we were sitting in this very same house (it has gotten a lot bigger since then) with our babies being first time mommies.

This is the way things are supposed to be but it's strange when you find yourself in the fading generation. It's a good place but you don't every really think about how it all has to go. I guess we think we will be young forever.

Anyway Dom said a funny thing, she told Jana she was so glad that she still lived here. That it felt like home. Since we have moved, Mimi and Bipaw moved, etc, etc. This was the only house that was still the same and represented the memories of her childhood.

I understand. I'll never forget when my childhood home in Austin was bulldozed down to build a church parking lot. It was sad and unsettling. But times moves on. And you can't stop it.

Right now I'm ready for it to move on by until Bobby and Phoebe get home to fill my house with noise and laughter and fun. I guess I'll have to give them a little time to recover first. They have been going non stop. Today they went to Dollywood and tomorrow to a water park. I'm ready for Wednesday to be here.

Gotta go to sleep. More soon.

The world travelers are off

2010-07-17T22:06:00.000-05:00

Got Bobby and Phoebe off to Mexico this morning about 4:15. We drove down last night and stayed at a motel near the airport so we wouldn't have to leave at 2am from home. We still had to get up early, early and they rode a shuttle over to the airport.

Phoebe was having a hard time. Lots of tears the last two nights but she is right at "that" time of the month so it was mostly hormones. She will be gone twelve days I think. Seven to Mexico and the rest to Kentucky for Bobby's family reunion. She is going to be exhausted when she finally gets home. Hopefully she will make it with few tears. She is funny that way just gets a little home sick. And her dad will be there even. Guess she is more of a home body like me.

Don't have a whole lot to say. I didn't sleep but an hour last night and then just drove home as soon as they got on the bus. I've been really sick all day. I finally went out and bought some Emitrol and that helped a bit. I'm in bed as I post and will go to sleep soon. I have to feel better!

I'm going to Denton Monday thru Thursday of next week to keep Ruby and Enzo while Ginger is in school. Dom and Gus will come hook up with us some too. I had planned to spend a night or two there but I'm going to drive home each day. The cat needs food and water - it's been hitting 100. And the plants need water.

Also, its gotten to where my nights are so restless, I hurt and can't get comfortable so I figure I'll be better off sleeping in my own bed each night. But since no one is home I can stay and visit as long as I want, I'll just drive home each evening. With the new highway the trip just under an hour - if there aren't any police or wrecks. So it's not too bad.

Well I'm going to try to sleep. Pray for our missionaries to Chiapas, Mexico this week. I did hear one group arrived. Praying that the other group is there and safe.

Fun with Friends

2010-07-08T21:08:00.000-05:00

Here we are with Wayne and Barbara Morgan at the Old Road Cafe on the Mescalera Reservation.
In all the times we have come to Ruidoso, and we actually have been on the reservation before, we have never eaten at the Old Road Cafe. It was wonderfully Delicious!

It was great to see Wayne and Barbara again. They seem to stay just the same. Though last year when we saw them Barbara was really sick. They didn't know exactly what was wrong. In fact they never really figured it out but she said they gave her a lot of new blood and put her on iron pills - and ta da, she is back to her old self.

We hung out at the house this morning, reading and doing not much of any thing important. We waited til Daddy left for Roswell (he flew to Arlington to do a funeral) and then we went junking. We didn't really find anything but it was fun to just browse. Phoebe was still feeling a little off. Every five seconds she was hot or cold. She's not running fever so I think it's just the altitude.

It's certainly not the weather! It's been incredible. This morning was so cold we were under blankets and wanting coffee at 11:00. The sun finally broke through and things warmed up a little. By this afternoon it was raining all over the place - except where we were. Which was ok - it was still great.

It's been cloudy all evening and there's a chance it will be raining when we go to bed. I sure would love to sleep in the rain. When I talked to Bobby this morning he said it was 80% chance of rain and it started as we talked. Tomorrow it's 70% chance - so by the time I get home I'm hoping things will be green and pretty. And maybe a little less hot.

I did hear from Tammy. She said poor Drew was car sick all the way from Vail to here but they made it and their doctor called some medicine to a pharmacy here. So hopefully their stay over the weekend will be a good one. We will try to get together for coffee in the morning. We have to run some errands for Daddy (whose flight, btw, got delayed 2 hours because of the storms at home) and then we will spend the rest of the day driving around so Phoebe can take pictures. She is just using her iPhone but she has a good eye. I wish we had brought the real camera but she will have fun anyway.

Then I guess we will pack things up and get a good nights rest for the drive home on Saturday.
I'm done I think - not much else to say. We are having a very relaxing, restoring time.

New Mexico!!!!

2010-07-07T23:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we went to Walmart and just as I ordered the clouds came up over the mountain and it rained. It's an incredible smell, the fresh air, the cool moistness of rain and pine. That smell will forever bring memories of Ruidoso to mind. So today we got out and walked around. The Alpine Lodge had hollyhocks growing and this awesome red door and turquoise chairs that made this great pic. Of course the cute chick in it didn't hurt any either.

Tonight Daddy cooked ribs, Momma pulled out my inheritance china and Charles and Sue O'Banion came over for supper. Then we played 12 hands of Golf - we just couldn't make it to 18 before it was time for bed. Tomorrow night we will get to see Wayne and Barbara Morgan.

Such a wonderful time of recovery and rest. Phoebe is reading on her summer AP homework. I'm doing a lot of reading my self and working on a brochure for church. Time seems to stop for a while as we wake, eat, talk and sleep - then start over again. I don't take for granted the time I get to spend with my parents and I'm trying to soak up all the love and fun I can before it's back to real life, Texas and the heat. I don't think I could live here year round but I know I could live her EVERY SINGLE JULY of my life.

Got a text from my friend Tammy today. They get in tomorrow, hopefully we can hook up for lunch while we are here.

Not making too many promises to post a lot before we start home...just having too much fun. I am very grateful to have use of Daddy's wireless router and a zippy internet connection.

On the way to Mimi & Bipaw's

2010-07-06T13:32:00.001-05:00

The McDonalds in Roswell.

2010-07-02T13:37:00.000-05:00

I just ate the best chili ever! Two bowls full! This morning like most, I got up and had my coffee. That is usually what makes up my breakfast. I’m so not a morning person I can’t even think about food much less get up and cook my self some. And recently in an effort to eliminate caffeine from my diet I’ve started drinking “half caff”. So my usual one cup of coffee has now become two so that I get enough caffeine to wake up and be aware of the world before noon. I don’t think my “half caff” strategy is working!

Any way by 11:00 I was getting pretty hungry. Since the family have been gone and I haven’t really cooked a meal in a week - I also haven’t really eaten substantially either. Now that hasn’t hurt me a bit, I still can’t get in my skinny jeans :)

And I know this really sounds crazy in the heat of summer but I was just out of my mind craving some chili. Now I know the limitations of my cooking skills, but over the years I’ve practiced several meals that are now my stand bys in entertaining - chili is one of them. It’s a no fail success (unless I burn it). And it comes right out of a box. “Two Alarm Chili” it never lets me down. They have already measured out the right amount of chili powder and all the ingredients I need. All I do is brown the meat, add tomato paste and water, Voila! It’s awesome. And my belly is very full right now.

I also just finished reading a great book, “Warrior Chicks” by Holly Wagner. A very easy read. Worth the time it takes. A great reminder of whose we are, why we are here, what we are to be about. Things I’ve known for a long time but seem to need reminding of on a daily basis. I thank God that He has used Holly to tell me once again. I know I’m fifty now, tho frankly I’ll admit my mind and memory have been fairly unreliable for a while but honestly when it comes to spiritual things I just get amnesia, short term memory loss, alien abduction, I don’t know but why do I forget so easily what God’s Word says so plainly?!

SO I’m sitting here full of good chili in a very thankful spirit about a million different blessings from God. One of them is my eye sight. My bout with Iritis was not only painful but scary. Thankfully the pain went away when the drugs took affect but it has taken a while for my sight to return to normal. It’s getting better every day! But I will say there were moments I’ve contemplated the possibility that it might not go back to normal. I think sight would be the sense I would never want to have to loose.

I write all that as I sit here looking at the chandelier above my head.

I have four chandeliers in my house. I’d have one in every room if I could. I love the way they look. Even the old rusty ones are beautiful if you hang some crystals on them. I just love the crystals, every shape and size.

This one is my very favorite. It’s because of where it hangs and the quality of the crystals on it. (By the way I bought at my friend Joni’s garage sale for $10. It was dirty and half apart but just needed some tender loving care - thanks Joni and no you can’t have it back.) Anyway, back to why I love it.

At a certain time of day as the sun is setting light will shine through the west window and hits the crystals. They are the real deal - cut glass. And because they are when the light hits them an amazing thing happens. A million prisms dance on the walls. Hundreds of miniature rainbows. If you look closely you can actually see the definition of where each color starts and stops. It is beautiful.

All my moments of this morning have come together and remind me Jesus words to me...

“In the same way, let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 (NIV)

I love that particular chandelier because it’s crystals are real and what happens when light hits them is so very beautiful. My other chandeliers have crystals that are pressed glass and guess what - no pretty prisms, light is not refracted the same way. They have to be real cut glass to make that happen.

Jesus tells me I am the light of the world. I understand His words to mean, I am light in the world. Or I am light for the world. And the light that the world sees actually originates in Him. I don’t think that they had prisms or crystals then. But I can see Jesus holding one up, allowing light to bend through it and pointing to the rainbow and saying, “Lynne this is what I want your life to do - allow me to shine through you in such a way that it makes something so beautiful that other people of the world are drawn to it - in this way they will come to know the Father so they too can praise Him.”

I know that “my” good deeds really amount to nothing at all but what God does in my life, with my life, with me through the circumstances of my life - He shines through it and makes Himself known to the world. I need to polish up my crystal and make sure it stays squeeky clean. Just like the crystal on my favorite chandelier, that is when the light makes the most beautiful rainbows!

June is almost gone

2010-06-28T12:01:00.000-05:00

It's about 11:30 on Monday morning and I'm sitting in Borders Book Store in Arlington passing time until time for my gall bladder test. Since Arlington is two hours away and a lot of road, I'm always leery of cutting things too close in case of car trouble or something. So here I sit waiting. And hungry. And a little thirsty. You know that fasting thing before tests. My eye seems to be doing better. Slowly going back to normal and not completely dilated any more. My vision is still fuzzy in that eye even with my glasses on - hopefully it will return to normal soon. Eventually I'll get through all these tests - they are going to find out I'm just old...but maybe they'll take out the pesky gall bladder after all - I'll keep you posted.

I'm glad to be in Arlington - I love the internet speed. I know, I know, I say that all the time. But you would be excessive too if you had the internet connection I have at home. Needless to say, I thought I'd catch up a little while I wait.

Three days last week I had a visit from Dom, Gus and Dom's friend Laura. When Dom was planning her visit, the one thing she requested was that we go to the lake. So on Friday we did. Packed up all the appropriate equipment for water play and baby care and hit the beach early. And then after almost a month of no rain - it rained! Thankfully we had a little fun before having to pack up and leave. I guess Gus needs to come visit once a week for a while and we would catch up on the rainfall we need.

It was still a good visit. Gus is growing up and changes so fast. He is still a little behind but we should expect that with all he has been through. He is sitting up and rolling over. He has learned to flirt with his eyes and loves the movie "Up". I have to work really hard to get him to laugh but every now and then he rewards me with some chuckles. But he LOVES Aunt Phoebe - I think it's all that crazy hair. He's a mixture of Dom and Luke physically but it's his daddy that looks out of his eyes, it's uncanny how much his eyes look like Luke. He's such a funny little guy. Wait he's not little any more. We figure he is about 23 pounds now. All his earlier feeding issues have resolved and he is normal weight and looks great. He loves his baby food and is getting finger food treats now. He is tolerating the vital stim very well and after ten more sessions they will do another swallow study to see if it has helped strengthen his throat muscles so he will quit aspirating. He is such a sweet baby and Dom has settled in to motherhood very comfortably. After all she has been through not much rattles her now.

By the time they packed up and were ready to leave for Denton, Chuck and family arrived for the day.
Ruby is so funny right now and very easy to entertain. She totally cracks me up with her conversations; what and how she says things , oh and her facial expressions - she is just so much fun. We filled up the little swimming pool and I think she would have stayed outside all day if Phoebe and I hadn't been so hot that we insisted she come inside. Enzo is the happiest baby with a very tender heart. And like his daddy don't mess with his meal time schedule - he needs to eat when he is hungry or it's not fun. He is looking more like Chuck as he gets older. The shocking blue eyes and carrot red hair just throw me - it's almost like he is a negative of Chuck or a color photo of him. He is cuddly and way too soon losing the new born look. He is growing up too fast - it won't be long and we won't have any babies!

Church has been busy. Lots of activities for the summer. Bobby and Phoebe will be at Mission Arlington this week. It seems like the last few years she has been gone on her birthday. This year is the big 15. Currently all she wants for her birthday is to go see her Tate Springs friends. I'm sure she'll find some clothes or shoes or something she wants sooner or later. She asked for a laptop but is going to have to wait a bit for that. We'll probably time that one out with graduation from high school and going to college. If we were to get one now it would be obsolete by then any way.

Well, it's evidently just a "catch up on every one Monday", no real meat to this missive. On the spiritual side of things, my group has had some interesting weeks as I have but God is teaching us that He is still in control when life is not. It's a very comforting lesson - even if it's a little hard. Hope this last week of June brings many blessings!

After lots of steroids...

2010-06-21T14:29:00.000-05:00

I am so grateful God made some people a whole lot smarter than me! After a week of being on steroid drops and dilation drops my eye is finally getting better. Thanks to the doctors at RGB in Sherman I seem to be on the mend. There seems to be an underlying condition that caused the iritis in the first place. So I will have to go see a rheumatologist for more tests.

Welcome to 50! I am also having an ultrasound on my gall bladder tomorrow. I'm ready for them to take it out and my appendix too. So I need to get bionic for the next fifty years, though I don't really want any new parts, I'm fine with them taking out the old I don't need.

Not much more to say today. Be back tomorrow I think.

Never knew

2010-06-17T18:25:00.001-05:00

I really never knew how bad my eyes could hurt until today.
I had a follow up visit to the eye dr. And my eye condition has gotten
worse. I have iritis and scleritis.
Neither is good in the long term - bit in the short term they are
incredibly painful.
I've been put on oral steroids and a stronger different drop.
Please pray for relief and healing. I know God is sufficient.
Since it's hard to see it may be next week before I post.

Battle weary - battle on!

2010-06-14T22:47:00.001-05:00

I have been so frustrated with my internet service lately it’s been so sporadic. I don’t know what’s up with AT&T but I’m going not getting what I pay for. It’s off more than on and it’s driving me crazy! Pretty much I have to go sit in Denison or Sherman to post anything. I’m looking at other options but for now I may be a less everyday than usual.

In the mean time I am going to blog and post when I can.

Ruby’s birthday ushers in the month of birthdays for my family. Cathy’s was the 10th (how does 50 feel, cuz?) Bobby’s (and Chase) is Friday. Mine is Sunday. Ginger’s is the 23, Tory’s the 24, Daddy’s the 25. Phoebe’s is the 30th. And I may have left someone out of the list.

I’m not sure how I feel about 50. I know my Daddy will call and tell me I’m half a century old. He does that. Like when I was ten - I was a decade old. At twenty five he told me I was a quarter of a century old. Somehow half a century sounds a whole lot older than fifty years. I guess I’ll figure out how I feel about it as I keep on having birthdays for the next fifty years.

Overall, even with all my really major mess ups, 50 years of life has been very sweet. If I died today I would thank God for every moment I got to live. The good, the bad and the ugly. I’m pretty sure there will be more of all three in the years to come.

I have had a lot of the ugly lately.

I think I’ve mentioned the discipleship group I’ve been meeting with. They aren't the ugly part! They are three beautiful women: Tammy, Whitney (who shares my birthday) and Jolene. God is doing some incredible things in our lives as we meet together. Amazing things. Growing things. Life changing moments that are such a privilege to experience and share together.

The goal of the group is to follow Jesus in real life. We are working through what that is and means and what it looks like. This week when we ended by choosing someone to practice loving. After allowing God to identify them for us, and before we even start overtly trying to show love we were to begin praying for them. Jolene shared she was going to find it hard, especially to the person God brought to her mind. We all nodding in agreement, knowing this was going to be a challenge. As we left, I reminded us all that Satan would work hard against us as we tried to live out 1 Corinthians 13 in our relationships. That we should expect things to heat up and be difficult.

Sometimes he targets our own weaknesses. Temper, anger, self righteousness,etc. Sometimes he uses other people to get to us; their weaknesses, annoying habits, cruelties. Sometimes he uses things or people to distract us and get us off track. And he will use any and everything to cause us to stumble and thwart us in our efforts to live for God and walk His way.

I know from past experience if Satan can give me a quick and debilitating swat to set me back he’ll do it. If that doesn’t work he ups the ante and blasts away with more potent amo. I’ve learned to expect it.

Even being ready for it doesn’t necessarily make it easy when it comes. I took a one-two punch not forty eight hours after we prayed and left with our assignment. Satan hit me in two spots. Marriage (that tends to be a frequent place he likes to play mess up) and in my body, physically. Today I’m still reeling a bit and looking around to see where the next blow is going to fall. I feel like he’s brought out the big guns and I’m taking a pounding. "shock and awe"fullness. The good news is I recognize it for what it is. The bad news is it still hurts.

In the past I didn’t always understand the spiritual and physical connection of being a believer, much less the warfare our adversary wages against us. I didn’t always connect the dots of attacks in my physical world to the spiritual life. So it took a while for me to put two and two together. I’ve learned to, (after I’ve quit reeling from the attack -some time it takes a while) put the circumstances to a spiritual litmus test.

First, I ask my self are the effects of the circumstances seeds I’ve sown previously or because I’m refusing to let God have control of my life.

For instance if I said hateful or careless words and someone is reacting to them -it is not an attack it is a consequence of my unwillingness to let love govern my tongue.

Or if I haven’t had my car serviced in three years and it breaks down it’s not an attack it’s a result of my failure to provide the adequate service needed to keep it running.

Next I look at what, where and how I am trying to follow God’s ways. Because our enemy does not want me to pray more, love more, serve more or advance God’s kingdom in any way. So if I am striving to grow, spend more time in scripture, memorize the Word, share the Gospel, visit the sick, feed the poor, disciple others...well the evil one will be there working to distract me - with my own wants, concerns, desires or problems. Hoping I’ll give up if things aren’t easy.

If I resist distraction, he’ll try to dissuade me with troubles and difficulties. These are the inconveniences of life like a flat tire, getting sick, my cell phone not working, little wrenches in the monkey works that trip me up and make it really hard to persevere on the path I know God is leading.

And finally his all out attack will be on my mind. He’ll try to steal my joy through hardships and depress me by telling me lies that destroy my hope. This one of the toughest battlefields, my mind. And I’ll be honest on many days he wins. This spiritual warfare is not easy. And it’s not optional - we are in it the minute we decide to be a Christ follower.

So when I apply my litmus test I can see that when I took on the discipleship of these three ladies, the enemy was watching and started the bombardment hoping I'd stop, give up, get scared or hurt, run for cover - quit.

There are several things I’ve learned over time. One thing is that when the battle is hot and heavy and I’m really hating it - it’s a good sign I’m following Christ well. It’s the last part of the litmus test that tells me I’m on the right track to pleasing my Lord. I’ve drawn the enemies fire because of my actions and he is trying to take me out of the battle.

On days like today, I’m a little scared. Battle weary. Desperately wanting to be pulled off the front line of this battlefield. I need triage!!!! I’m not confident, more than a little gun shy and dreading where and when the next skirmish will take place.

BUT I am encouraged to know that I’m doing something right. A few posts ago - I mentioned how I did not want to come before Jesus in Heaven and be spewed out because I was luke warm. Well I’ve discovered if I am passionate - I become a target, well believers are always targets - I’ve just become a bigger one maybe.

I don’t know anything except that choosing to be hot about my love for Jesus has got me in the thick of the battle.

Another thing is, I can take courage because I know I am not here alone. Jesus said He will never leave me or forsake me ever. And especially not when I’m out there doing the very thing He told me to do. And He is a veteran of this war. And He won His battle.

So I try to remember who I am, who He is, how He can lead me even when I am the most cowardly lion of a soldier and just want to retreat or surrender. When I am bloody and beaten and begging for relief, I know He will help me endure and persevere. I love the picture painted in Revelation - my savior, a warrior - His name written on his thigh, charging into battle. That's who I'm looking for as I wait for the smoke to clear from this battle I'm in. What a sight!

Please pray for me and the ladies as we battle on. And I will be praying for you too, whether you realize it or not, if you are a believer - you are some where out there in this very battle.

The Birthday Girl

2010-06-07T15:03:00.001-05:00

Ruby had a fun birthday party. This year she really understood the concept of a party and talked about it a lot. When the party day came she woke up from her nap and looked around at all the people (who were waiting for her to wake up for the party to start) and said "I'm having a birthday party".

Sweet and priceless.

It was hot and there was a crowd of people. The Clary side of the family was much louder than the Pals side of the family - no surprise there. But we all had a good time. The little girls outnumbered the little boys by 5 to 3 and they were mostly still in arms of parents or family.

Next year they will be tearing it up I imagine.

While the pool party went on outside, many of us went inside to cool off. Gus eventually shucked his clothes all together. Big Daddy dunked both boys feet in the water. Next year I'm sure we will need a bigger pool and I hope it's not so hot.

Ruby was the last out of the pool. Ginger couldn't even tempt her out. When she asked Ruby if she wanted her birthday ice cream, she paused only a second, raised both hands in the air and said

"More swimming~!"

When it was all said and done, she was one pink princess that had too much ice cream, excitement and stimulation but a very wonderful birthday party.

Naptime

2010-06-04T14:43:00.005-05:00

Book time

2010-06-04T14:43:00.004-05:00

I love Gus' expression. Not a great pic of the other two but more are coming.

The dreaded day of errands

2010-06-04T14:42:00.001-05:00

I'm posting remotely because of errands. I've been everywhere today, it seems. Lots of waiting. Getting a headlamp fixed in my car. Getting it inspected. Man I really can't stand to just wait around!

But inspection on the car is out and since I have jury duty Monday and don't know how long that will be I'll be out of the grace period and I don't want s ticket.

So necessary the waiting :(

And before I go home I have to go to Walmart. Better today than this weekend.

Yesterday I have a wonderful day with all three of my grandbabies! I'll post a couple of pics next.

Needless to say I got my Grami fix. Can't wait to the boys talk- nothing beats hearing Ruby say, "My Gigi (gee-gee)". She corrected Dom when she called me Grami. Gigi may stick for life. We'll have to see what the boys call me. It reminds me of Daddys story on how my great grandmother got her name Bo Bo.

Whatever their sweet baby voices call me - I'll come!

Thank You Family...

2010-06-02T11:41:00.000-05:00

Over the last few weeks my family has been so wonderful to Phoebe.
Her desire to go on the Mexico Mission trip this summer meant she had to figure out how to
pay for it. Which for a kid who pretty much has had everything she ever asked for meant thinking about
money for the first time in a very different light.

The sponsor church (our people are going with them) provided several suggestions for raising funds.
Phoebe got the letters written and mailed. And as each person has responded she excitedly opens the letters. She will not let me see them til she has read them. The words of each person's message to her has been special and individual. Encouraging and fueling the excitement of going someplace and letting God use her to touch lives. She has made thread bracelets to take as gifts to the children. And I know she doesn't realize even yet how much this trip will impact her life.

She has written thank you notes and they will reach everyone soon. She did not let me read them either. But I know she spent a lot of time trying to find the right words to say that would say what was in her heart. They may have ended up just a simple "thank you I don't know what else to say"...I don't know, I do know that she has been blessed by the gifts of money that will make the trip possible for her.

We are still waiting on her passport. Pretty sure it will come in soon. Now I'm the only one without a passport. Ah, well, I'm not much of a world traveler, obviously.

Anyway, I just wanted to add my thanks to all our family that has given. With a few exceptions all contributors have been family. And the few that aren't - we consider family because they are life long friends they feel like family.

I am so blessed by all my family. The Clary's and that Texas line, the Hancock's and the Kentucky line - God has loved me so thoroughly through the people He gave me as family. And He is doing the same with Phoebe - I'm not sure she appreciates her spiritual heritage yet but she will someday.

Hot as summer

2010-06-01T09:55:00.000-05:00

Memorial Day was fun. Phoebe and I spent a fun girl day with Nana in Crowley. Swimming, a little shopping and lots of talking. It was very relaxing and HOT.

Summer is here. Well Phoebe still has several days of school but the hot weather has arrived. It feels like July already and that is way too early!!!

Ginger's family are coming in to Denton from Minnesota to visit with the babies for a while and will probably wilt with this heat. Actually we are all going to be wilting with this heat. I'm going to have to water very often to keep things alive. If we really hit the numbers they are predicting things will go brown fairly quick.

Phoebe and I will be looking for a pool to swim in to stay cool.

She has finals the next two days. Then I think we will have a quiet week. But only one and then all the summer activities: VBS, camp, mission trip and travel start kicking in.

I'm working our new bible study material for Sunday mornings and the kids will be glad we are out of Leviticus and Exodus. I love the old testament - I hope they caught even a tiny spark of my passion for it and will dig around on their own. We will see. Our next quarter is in Corinthians and has such applicable life lessons. It should be interesting for them. I am studying up on Corinth and it's history and hope to help them see what early Christians were experiencing. We have some really good discussions. And though I'm often frustrated with the lack of commitment to come consistently (in all our church) God is growing some people in phenomenal ways. These are the future leaders - the best investment of my time and energy.

Bobby and I had dinner with Dennis and Billie Henderson, the pastor of Sherman Bible, a church in the area that is growing by leaps and bounds. He has been a good friend and mentor to Bobby. They are maybe 10 years older than we are. They have a ministry to pastors in crisis also (outside of their church. They are very giving people. And mentoring/discipleship is their strong point.
They each have several groups of 12 they mentor. They require a two year commitment from their people and take them through a rigorous study during that time. I am amazed. Not just at the time they pour out into people but that people are willing to make that commitment.

I have been praying for our church and community. We live in such a pleasant place. People are so content and blessed. But I am afraid we would receive the letter from Jesus to Laodicea. God has blessed us so much we have failed to follow passionately. People may tithe and appear to be doing the right thing but our fluctuating attendance shows a lukewarm heart that is anything but passionate about our Father and His desires.

A book I'm reading, Crazy Love by Francis Chan - has the concurrent website crazylovebook.com, that you can view as you read the book. You don't have to read the book to appreciate two videos on the site, "the awe factor of God" and "just stop and think". If you have a minute today - take the time to view them. I don't know about you but I do struggle with a distracted passion for God. It is so easy for my day to be over come by my choices and to do lists...leaving God and what He desires at home with my Bible.

I can hardly be critical of my fellow church members when I am just as lackadaisical in my passion and love for God. So fickle. It can blow hot then cold with in the same day, hour or a span of minutes. I'm working hard on staying on track with my love for Him. I don't want Jesus spewing me out. How pathetic a tag for eternity "spewee"! I don't want my first face to face with Jesus to be excuses. After that encounter of accounting, I don't want to be walking around heaven saying - "Yep God took us to Georgetown, we loved the lake! Our life was so easy. We just loved everyone and never had any controversy. We thought it was all good - but in the end I was spewed - I'm a spewee! I wish I could go back and do it over."

I think learning to live as tho my very breath is dependent on God (which it in fact is) is hard. American and our culture has fostered in me an independent spirit that often raises it's hand indifferently to God and says "I got this, I can handle my life just fine, don't worry about it God" especially in the good times, the easy times. No wonder God calls me passionless. The only thing I ever get worked up over is my own troubles and they are as a rule of my own making.

I know there is a better way to stay true to my first love. I'm striving to work it out daily. It's challenging to quit breathing for my self - on my own, to stay aware of His awesomeness. When I concentrate on that - which by the way I don't really have the brain cells to actually understand - then it puts life and "ME" in perspective and makes me much more passionate about God. Suddenly, all I can do or the importance of my life shrink and fade to nothing compared to what and who He is. Life gets much simpler and I remember how important it is for me to be dependent on Him - no, not to "be dependent" but to realize I am totally dependent every day - every moment.

And in all that awareness of Him I recognize how nothing I am but have this sudden burst of joy because I remember He loves me! No human words really express the WOW factor of this knowledge but it sure makes my day.

Hope your day has the same WOW moment and your passion is rekindled! :)

2010-05-26T15:38:00.000-05:00

Surprisingly there hasn't been much going on in my life since Mother's Day.
Well nothing worth noting. Lots of cleaning and dusting and washing of clothes.
This week has been full of appointments and running around each day.
I'm looking forward to the weekend when I can kick back and relax.

I finally have the house in great shape...the first three months of this year about killed me. Then it's taken two more to get things back to normal but it's there and just in time for summer.

Phoebe is very excited about going on the mission trip to Mexico for the first time. She is having to raise $900 and is about half way there. Bobby is swamped as usual with church work. This summer being as busy as ever. Three big things we will do...Phoebe and I will go to Ruidoso for a visit (tho I might go alone when the are in Mexico), they will go to Mexico and we will go to the Hancock family reunion. That's about as far as our financial resources will go - no big Disney vacation this year for sure!

But that will fill up the summer. Phoebe is very ready for school to be out and I will be glad for the break in routine. As she turns 15 we will be looking at the self-teach drivers ed - I know she will be happy to start logging some time behind the wheel.

I'm sitting in front of the school waiting to pick her up and it's raining like crazy. Of course AFTER I watered all morning. Oh well better more than not enough. And we really did need the rain. But looking at the radar it's just one blob sitting right over Pottsboro - kinda funny actually. But thank you Lord, because we are happy to have it.

My discipleship group is going very well and I can't tell you how exciting it is to see growth and challenges in the lives of these young women. Phoebe is struggling in her role as a "preacher's kid" and all the expectations from church, youth leadership and community. I had a wonderful opportunity to share her burden a few nights ago and give her the best Godly counsel I know (which by the way was taught me by my parents) "Please God - not man". If Phoebe comes to mind over the next few days please pray for her. For strength to practice her faith walk and apply scripture to her every day circumstances. And that God will protect her from Satan's efforts to destroy her through her unique position of being a PK. I understand her struggles first hand and know that she must learn for her self how to survive the attacks.

The newest believer in our group is a young lady, 23 years old. She is learning first hand to walk differently from the world and is challenged every day as the Holy Spirit shows her areas of her life that need conforming to scripture. I am being challenged by her questions and daily need for scriptures to help her. If any one has a good resource that gives scripture references for specific situations I'd love you to email me. She is growing and struggling. I thank God I get to share that experience.

Gus Visiting

2010-05-14T19:25:00.000-05:00

Here is Gus on Aunt Cebe's bed. He loves it for some reason. Maybe it's all the black and white in the room. What ever it is he always smiles.

Bobby took the girls to a movie this afternoon and Gus stayed home with me. He is such an easy baby. In that way he reminds me of Dom as a baby. Since his feeding tube came out it is easier to handle him although I am still very careful of his "button". It doesn't seem to bother him any more...but I'm cautious where I put my hands.

Any way it goes we have had such fun on this visit. He is so sweet and getting chubbier every day. I have to remind my self this is the same baby that just a few months ago had his little heart sliced and stitched. God is the only God of miracles and I have kissed the face of the most recent one all day long.

God is good despite what my eyes may see at times, I can understand that now. What a journey He has taken us on and brought us to a beautiful place. Thank you God!

Faith Like Potatoes

2010-05-12T15:34:00.000-05:00

That is a funny phrase. I watched a movie by that name today. I'm not sure how it got in my Netflix que but I'm glad it did. I'm going to have to read the book now. Funny how that works isn't it - you see a movie and then decide to read the book.

The movie is based on the life of Angus Buchan. It is a movie story of a man's walk of faith. I think it is well done and more than anything it presents faith as it really is. Simple yet profoundly hard at times. It's worth renting.

I'm getting ready for a visit from Dom and Gus. They are coming for a few days. It will be good to get some kisses from his fat baby cheeks and see if I can coax some laughs out of him. He can be very solemn...he reminds me of my nephews at that age he was very serious but now is quite a joker and always smiling. (Family can you guess who?)

I end quickly (everyone amazed?!) because I have to go to the post office. I am mailing off a letter with pictures to our Compassion child Frola. She lives in Tanzania and is six years old. Today I finally put all the correspondence we have received from her into a scrap book. It has reminded me of what wealth I have and how much I take for granted. Today I am praying for all my family and I pray for Frola and her family too. His richest blessings on those He loves!

Still laughing

2010-05-10T14:23:00.000-05:00

I actually had to sit in Sherman to upload these pics. My aircard is just too far away from a tower evidently, to upload pics quickly or more that just one. So I figured this was the only way to get it done.

As you can see we had a lot of fun yesterday evening. Beyond the surprise and Bobby fixing and cleaning up dinner, it was such a wonderful day just laughing with the kids and watching or holding the grandkids.

A handsome, loving husband. Beautiful kids. Awesome in-laws. Precious grandkids. It reminds me of a promise God made to many me many years ago, and though I could not see how we would end up here - we have. God is true and faithful. And worth all our trust in Him, even when we find it hard to believe what He tells us - when we can't seem to work it out with human logic or comprehend with our limited understand. He is THE PROMISE KEEPER.

Again today -I am thankful.

Best Mother's Day Present Ever

2010-05-09T22:19:00.000-05:00

Much to my surprise Bobby arranged the best Mother's Day present I've ever had. And I have had some lovely Mother's Days in the past.

Chuck and Ginger were here to pick up Ruby from her "sweep over" at Geegee's. Bobby had to go to the hospital because one of our deacon's chain-sawed his foot (please pray for David Tidwell!). He promised to grill out and clean it all up too, when he got back. But he said he was bringing me a surprise.

So when he came through the door and asked me if I was ready for my surprise but he didn't move I thought he wanted me to go out side. I stood there trying to figure out what I was supposed to do and in walked Dom, Gus and Luke.

I screamed. Gus cried. We all laughed and then loved on Gus so he would stop crying.
It is the first time in a very long time all my babies were here. With all their babies.
It was tremendous! I still get teary eyed thinking how wonderful it was. Here are a few pics. I will post a few crazy ones tomorrow. And the kids with their kids.

Great Husband! Great Kids! Great Grandbabies! Wow. How in the world did I get all this? Deep question.

But for now...world look at me with envy. I am one blessed woman - who deserves not one bit of the blessing. And that makes me one very humble thankful mama.

Look Hard

2010-05-06T16:20:00.001-05:00

Here is the stitched together picture Phoebe took of the whole rainbow. It still doesn't to it justice.
But all I can say it was phenomenal!

Tomorrow I will get to see all my grand babies. First to Dom's to see how Gus is doing. Which by the way is really well with his new Gbutton in place. Then to hold chubby Enzo-bubba (as Ruby has dubbed him).
Then I'll pack Ruby up and bring her home to spend the night and spectate at the "Fishing Derby" at church on Saturday. She's still a little young for it but she'll have a blast watching the kids.
And I'll have a blast playing with her till I have to take her home. Can't wait til the boys are big enough to come too!

Well gotta get my stuff done so I can play tomorrow!

2010-05-03T20:52:00.000-05:00

These irises are from the Hondo Valley in New Mexico - aren't they beautiful colors?!

What an incredible evening. We had a whole rainbow in the sky this evening. We could not capture it all in the frame. Phoeb tried to get a panoramic but it needs adjusting so you can see the rainbow. I'll work on it and post it tomorrow. But you can see where one side ended...it looked like there should have been a pot of gold there.

Phoebe and I wondered if Noah stared in delight and amazement when he saw the first rainbow. We jumped up and down, laughed, and took pictures as fast as the camera would snap.

God loves us so incredibly to have given us eyes to see the work of His marvelous hands!

Our tough little trouper

2010-05-03T20:21:00.000-05:00

Here is Gus right out of recovery. As you can see from his eyes he is feeling some pain. Right after I took the pic they gave him some morphine and began to feel sleepy.

The close up is the port or "G button" the tube and white piece on top will come off and the clear tab will close just like a blow up raft or beach ball. Amazing, huh?

Dom says he is doing well and really ready to get back to food. More tomorrow.

Gus

2010-05-03T09:16:00.000-05:00

His surgery is all done. Dom and Luke have gone back to see him in
recovery. More later.

Waiting in a very dark hospital

2010-05-03T06:43:00.000-05:00

Today Gus is having a "G button" put in. So I made the familiar drive to Medical City Dallas. With out stopping I can get here in on hour from home. It's not too bad when I leave at 5 am, the traffic is brisk at this hour but not snarly yet.

When I drove up to the parking garage all but one lane was blocked and it's gate was not down. I approached it like on sensing a trap. Free parking is not the norm. As I pulled through the lane and into the garage I noticed not only was it very dark but there were generators humming and strategically placed about. Their light harsh and despite their intended purpose, they did not make it easy to see to park. I thought to my self, the electrical for the garage must be down for some reason.

I walked towards the hospital and noticed more generators. This time with three and four lights each - lighting the way. Not a good sign for a hospital. But I looked up to see lights on in the windows - so I think it must just be the outside lighting that is affected.

I go in and through the lobby and everything seems normal. Not much activity this early. But as I make the turns as twists of the corridors to the correct bank of elevators to take me to Pediatric Surgery, I find my self in a very dark hallway. Lit only by an emergency light. No people. No doctors, nurses, or people finding their way to work this morning. It was very strange.

This is a hallway and bank of elevators I have used every time I've been to the hospital. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. As I stand peering down into the darkness where the elevators are, a short Indian man in a suit walks up behind me and asks if I need help. I think briefly to my self, this is weird and a bit scary - but he's kinda small, I could take him down if he suddenly turns into Freddie Kruger.

I tell him where I am heading, all the while thinking about every scary movie I've ever seen where the victim heads right into the darkness oblivious to danger (stupid move we all know that bad guy is lurking in the dark there). The Indian guy disappears back into another corridor after assuring me the elevator is working and I stand waiting for the ding and the doors to open.

Maybe it's my aversion to this time of day. Or maybe it's just really wrong for a hospital to be this dark ever. I finally find my way on to the third floor where everything is just as dark...and now I'm sitting in the waiting area for Pediatric Surgery, (yes, still in the dark) waiting for Dom and Luke to come.

Dom did text and tell me there are prepping Gus for surgery. Hopefully it's lighter there. Maybe they have turned off all the non-vital lighting so they can use it in surgery (I SURE HOPE SO).
I know there must be other people here somewhere but it feels like I'm in a parallel universe - the wrong one. The place is like a tomb. It's like a bad Twilight Zone episode - I just waiting to hear Rod Serling's voice. Doo-doo doo-doo, doo-doo doo-doo....you have now entered the Twilight Zone.

If I ever come out, I'll let you know how Gus did. Hope your Monday starts in a much more normal way :)

I am an IDIOT

2010-04-29T08:40:00.000-05:00

I got an email from my baby sister today. It broke my heart.
And it should have because I broke her heart. Inadvertently and accidentally.

A few posts ago I mention my sisters. And right after Jenny there is a period, where there should be a comma then "Laura". I know in my brain as I typed- Laura was next because you see I always think about my sisters in birth order: Jana, me, Jenny, Laura. But my fingers did not type it.

I cried and then apologized when she brought it to my attention. But here is my public apology. I would never forget my Laura.

For so many reasons. Being six years older I wagged her around like a live doll. I was never a doll player. Never. I have a "just look at" Madam Alexander doll that Mama gave me one year. And I got a Moon-Maid doll that had an astronaut bubble helmet on her head, that I got for Christmas one year. I liked that one ok, but didn't ask for either. I didn't have a need for a fake doll when I had a real live baby to carry around. When Laura was a sweet little toddler we taught her to say and do all kinds of cute things. She won a trophy in a baby pageant that was taller than she was. She was absolutely adorable.

She did and still does have such a sweet and loving personality. She always looks for the best in people and doesn't say an unkind word. She looks to include - always. Pulling people in to her circle of love. My children love to be around Aunt Laura because they know she will be "touching" them as they talk, playing with their hair and tickling their arms or back. She will listen for hours concerned for another persons life and heart, and people love that about her.

And that is why it hurt her feelings to think I had excluded her. She would never exclude me...or anyone.
And truly I would never exclude her - I evidently had a senior moment in my fingers as I typed.
I love you baby sister. I wish you were here or I were there so I could hug you. Since I'm not at the moment, tell Dale to hug you tight for me. BIG KISS!

A lovely weekend

2010-04-26T20:07:00.000-05:00

Nothing compare to family. Parents. Kids. Grandkids.

I had a lovely, peaceful time with my parents. The weather was perfect and we spent mornings and evenings sitting on the porch enjoying the spring blooms and happily chirping birds. I was not happy to have to work half a day on Thursday and Friday but we made the most of the time we had.

I learned once again how much my son Chuck is like my dad Chuck. If you want their friendly easy-going personality to hang around you must feed them every three hours (just like Gus and Enzo). So, except for Saturday when time got away from us, we kept Daddy well fed. But that day we went to Main Street in Denison to shop and didn't go eat til about 1:00. By that time Daddy was grumpy and I threatened to stuff him in my "two dead body" trunk.

Thankfully we got him fed before I had to carry out my threat but he told me he was not living with me when he was old and wanted the number for CPS so he could report me for abuse. I told him that was only for kids but he was sure they would listen to his complaint. We had a lot of laughter this weekend. God gave me a very rare of special gift of time with both parents that I will store up in my heart and treasure always.

Friday night Ginger, Chuck, Ruby and Enzo came to see us as well. The only thing that could have made it better was for Dom, Luke and Gus to have been here as well and my cup would have been running over!

I'm going with Dom and Gus to his doctor appointments on Wednesday - so I'll get to have some time with them after all. Gus will see his cardiologist and the surgeon about getting a "G button" put in. That will replace the feeding tube and give him more freedom. Plus they will be starting vital stim on him. Which stimulates the muscles of his throat and mouth (I think) to help him learn to swallow better. He is eating baby food just fine but is still aspirating anything thinner than honey consistency. So the G button will give him time to progress with out compromising his nutrition.

Well that's all the update I have time for. More soon - if any one is still reading after my really long absence.

Working hard

2010-04-20T21:53:00.000-05:00

Not sure how much longer I will be working at the garden center, Peg, the lady I'm replacing is still not moving very well. She has a dr's appointment tomorrow and hopefully I will get good news. Either way I'm ready to be home for a while.

The pic is one of the butterflies that visits every single day at the garden center. It has several friends that drop by as well, I just happened to get this shot of "blackie".

Very excited that Momma and Daddy are coming and staying until Sunday!!! They are currently in Denton kissing on all three of my grandbabies - I'm so jealous!

Well gotta go to sleep, working makes me really tired :)

New Job

2010-04-12T18:39:00.001-05:00

It's not really a permanent job. But today and for two weeks I will be working at Texoma Trees Retail store in Pottsboro. I'm filling in for a lady named Peg, she had surgery on her knee today. If I had to have a job this would be a good one. Spending the whole day outside in this absolutely perfect weather (today anyway). Working from 8:30 to 3:00 which fits Phoebe's schedule well. Playing with plants all day long. Pretty fun.

Yet already I've been reminded how much a job ties you down and messes with family life. Phoebe needs to go to the ortho to have her wires clipped and neither Bobby or I can get her there. So it's NOT ideal but it is fun short term. And there's no motorcycle riding or going to lunch with Bobby going on for a few weeks either. But it will be over soon.

So that's what is new. It has been a rough first quarter of the year. I told Bobby when the Arlington house was finally done that I wasn't doing anything til summer was over. I plan on laying by the pool at Tanglewood with my sister-friend Sheila all summer long. Though it's really too cool yet. But I feel like I need a huge break! I thought working so soon after the stress would make me crazy but it's been ok - except for the commitment to be in a time and place at a certain time.

I still have a million projects at home I need to do. Like clean my garage! But many I can do when it's too hot to be outside this summer so I'll just have to be patient as my to do list grows. I need to see my grandbabies soon as well but I'll have to wait another week, oh poo (sigh)! I still have taxes to do - filed an extension today. So many other things on my list but I'm content, for now, to go out and work each day, for a while any way.

I am excited that my parents are taking some time off and coming to Texas next week. Very glad Daddy is getting a way for a bit and happy to see them both. Need a sister fix pretty bad. Jana is closest in proximity and I haven't seen her in forever! And Thanksgiving was the last time I saw Jenny or Jana. Jane Ellen didn't make it for Thanksgiving. And it's been several years since I've seen Maxx or Marcie. I have some really sweet friends here so I'm not totally starved for sister love. But wow, I would love to see any of them.

Not a lot of substance in this post. Really not any big news. But I'll try to get a little more diligent and newsier in the near future. For now I'm going to put a heating pad on my back and put my feet up.
Happy Monday y'all.

Lynne Neveryeday

2010-04-04T23:52:00.001-05:00

Yes, I know how long it's been since a real post. And this one will not be much of an update of all that has transpired. I'll catch up a bit over time and let you know what has been happening. And now for the very, very readers digest version: Dec renters moved out, Jan started work on renovating rent house, Gus had surgery, more work on house, Daddy Bill goes to be with Jesus and we go to Kentucky for funeral, All the rest of Mar - more work on the house. April 1 I leave Arlington for good - work done on the house!

When I look at the words they don't half way convey the exhausting race my life has been the last three months. All things must end eventually both good and bad. Thankfully this season of my life is done.

I got home Thursday to a wonderful friend having prepared the evening meal for my family. My sweet Sheila sister knew my need and served me so selflessly. I think I was still totally numb from exhaustion. I know both my hands were totally numb from pinched nerves.

Lucky me my thoughtful husband gave me a gift certificate for a massage which I had on Friday morning and things started loosing up a bit in my back and neck. I will see my chiropractor tomorrow and get the kinks cracked out and be on the mend I'm sure. I've had lots of sleep but not quite enough to catch up yet but I'm feeling a little better each day. I know I pushed my body way beyond it's limits and I'm paying the price. Hopefully it will heal soon.

In the mean time we have had a wonderful Easter weekend. It started Friday night with dress rehearsal for our Easter musical. We had about 125 people attend on Saturday night and then over 200 tonight. Except for some of the "snap, crackle and pop" (as my daddy calls them) demons in the sound system every thing went very well. Peoples lives were changed.

God through His Spirit called people by name this week and brought them to the place of knowing Him. It has been a wonderful and refreshing thing to see. People who were going in one direction and meet God face to face - suddenly God changes their lives. I have heard the stories from two in particular and I know that this "spiritual birthday" is awesome and a privilege to celebrate with them.

You will hear me talk frequently about "life change" in future posts. It is something God is working on in my heart. Not just my own life change but leading others to understand how God wants to change them. The sad state of the church today (we look a whole lot like non-believers) is because we don't help new believers understand...after meeting Jesus face to face our lives can't return to "normal" or life as usual. Accepting forgiveness from our sins is just the beginning - the rest of our life is about God changing us so we look more like Jesus, act more like Jesus.

I hope that your Resurrection weekend was as blessed by the presence of our Lord Jesus as mine was. I can hardly find words to describe the three worship services and how much God blessed me as we praised Him during them.

I was most surprised by this...maybe because this Easter I would have loved to have all three of my grandbabies (and children) celebrating this time with me, having lunch, hiding and hunting eggs, getting lots of baby love. Because circumstances didn't work out for that to happen - I chose not to pine or be depressed about it. I focused on where I was and who I was with, asking God to allow me to see the blessings He had in place for me right where I was and not the ones I would prefer.

He did just that in a marvelous way. I would have preferred my babies and grandbabies, yes, but God showed me the spiritual children I have at GBC (in my Bible Study class), He allowed me to be a part of the spiritual rebirth of a precious young woman, He showed me how the Christian community of GBC is sufficient and able to meet my needs for family and love when mine are far away. He is so good. Slowing I am learning to quit demanding my way and from the first accepting His.

It may take another 50 years or so to get it right every time, tho!?

Gus!

2010-04-01T11:05:00.001-05:00

Done!

2010-04-01T00:35:00.001-05:00

It's midnight and I'm finally done. It was a family affair today.
Bobby came and hauled junk home, Euna cleaned and I grouted tile and
finished painting baseboards. I'm sleeping here tonight and going home
in the morning.
All done!!!!!

WOW

2010-03-29T20:35:00.001-05:00

Got a lot done today. Oddly tonight I am finally feeling the "no sleep" night of Saturday.
Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!

Three days and counting down

2010-03-29T09:19:00.000-05:00

Just a short post. The last month has been a blur. With Bill's funeral, the trip to Kentucky and trying to finish work on the house in Arlington - I don't even know where I live anymore.

Exhaustion and constant activity have been occasionally broken up by a few moments of seeing the grandbabies. I've seen Phoebe and Bobby a total of three days in the last fifteen. I can say with certainty I'm not enjoying this kind of living. And I'm very grateful it is not the norm of my life.

Soon it will be over. The renters will move in Thursday. So no matter what has to happen in the next three days - my struggle will be over soon.

While I have not enjoyed the sense of pressure (time) and physical exhaustion, the work has been satisfying. It is pleasing to see the house go from vintage 1976 to clean, bright and new.

Chuck met me at the house on Saturday about 5pm to put in the counter tops, sink, stove top and vent-a-hood. At 5 am Sunday morning we were finally done. I could not have done it alone. First I'm not sure I'd know how...but all tasks took a little more man handling than I am capable of.

What is left? Tile back splash in the kitchen. Installing new baseboards in the kitchen, foyer, bath and living room. Framing out a door. Last minute painting of all the above. Cleaning up and packing up. I'm tired just thinking about it. And I am praying there is ample time to get it all done. I'm trusting God to give me plenty of strength and time to finish.

I've missed out on so much at home. I'm troubled that my Sunday school class has died. From ten to only a few faithful as I have been out so much. It will take prayer and visiting to get everyone back again. Phoebe has done well - I think the time has been good for her and Bobby's relationship. She has had to communicate and rely on him totally. I've had but one hug in the last week and that as we said goodbye. I'm proud of her. She has taken care of her responsibilities at school and church. I'm proud of her independence - she is growing up well.

Did I say short? Gotta go - so much to do!

Home for a night

2010-03-18T21:38:00.000-05:00

Having traveled over four states several times in the last week, I am finally home for one night.
We rolled into Crowley today about 3:30pm. Earlier than we anticipated. We had talked about me coming on home to load the truck with tools and head back to Arlington to work on the house there.

So I threw my stuff in the truck and took off. I thought I was making a wise decision. Nope! It was one of those days where traffic everywhere was just terrible. I sat on 35 N just south of downtown Ft. Worth looking at a mass of humanity tucked into their various vehicles all heading the same direction as me and none of us moving much at all.

It took me one hour and fifteen minutes to get to Western Blvd, what should take about 15 minutes without traffic. Lots of time for contemplation if nothing else. Finally I made it home to Pottsboro and I must say I was happy to see it. Most happy to see our Porch Kitty is doing very well and his paw healed. He was happy to see me. I even let him wander around in the house while I unloaded the truck (and I never let him in).

It took a while to unload and put away everything and the sun had gone down by the time I had everything settled. I sat down to start a list of all I need to take and was just overwhelmed by the thought of having to think straight tonight. So I have crawled up into my very soft bed (probably the single thing I am most happy to see and feel). Checking my email and watching Ruby posts. I am happy to be here if even only for one night. The next week will be spent in Arlington trying to finish the house up.

I know that I have just a bit longer and this season of business will be over. Thankfully Bobby will be around tomorrow and maybe a bit of Saturday to help. I've committed my mind to NOT getting stressed about the small amount of time left to get the house finished. I know any way it goes it will get done and I can go back to living in Pottsboro, enjoying family and friends, focusing on the activities at church.

One random thought before I go, I'm so glad to be back in Texas. As many cities as we have seen and all the different country side. This is home. It may not be the prettiest. It may not have the rolling hills of Kentucky or the Elvis fame of Tennessee. It may get hotter than hell in the summer - but I love Texas and I'm glad to be home.

So I'm turning off the light and going to sleep. Hopefully getting back to Arlington by midday to get to work.

Long trip, long day

2010-03-14T17:50:00.001-05:00

We got up Saturday and made our way to Kentucky. Some where Friday somebody kissed or hugged me some nasty germs.

After a rough night tossing and turning, I woke up with a terrible sore throat. I don't remember much of the drive here, except begging Bobby to find some place to stop and buy Nyquil. I was able to sleep until about 11:00 am today when I crawled put of bed finally. I needed to shower and get ready for the day and activities with extended family.

Bill's brother Donny, Pat his wife and Bobby's cousins, Mallory and Allison greeted us with lots of love and a fantastic lunch. It's good to see them all. Aunt Patty Cake has always been a favorite. Donny's grocery stores and horse farm play a big part in all our memories of Kentucky.

Fortunately Phoebe has spent enough time here to have friendships with Mallory and Allison's kids so it has been family reuion early for her.

Another viewing today will be followed by family visitation and the funeral and graveside tomorrow morning. Then on to Louisville for a memorial service there on Tuesday.

There haven't been too many tears up to this point. I suspect tomorrow will be the tough day.
We all stayed at Monte and Nandy's old house last night - that's what Bill would have wanted. Bobby got into bed and a few tears fell, he said it just wasn't right to be there without Bill. I think it would have been better emotionally for us to have stayed in a hotel. This place has ways too many memories for Bobby. I think he has been so busy that he hasn't had too think too much about it. Every now and then he gets very quiet and still. I know he is wrestling with strong emotions.

So far Phoebe is ok. The young have a different perspective on death. She will miss Bill in her own time, her own way.

Being sick through all this may be a blessing in disguise. I'm drugged and sitting in a chair out of he way. Feel too bad to think much and so drugged I don't even feel I'm really in the room.

Well this may be the only post until I get back home or at least feel better. The good thing is if someone had to be sick better me than Bobby or Euna - that would have been too hard.

I'm out of words.

2010-03-11T20:53:00.001-06:00

Wednesday evening my father in law, Bill Hancock passed away. I've always raised an eyebrow at that phrase. As a believer I know where Bill is, but passed away is shorter I guess than walked into the arms of Jesus or is sitting at the feet of God. How ever it gets said this has been a somewhat sad week.

It is hard to watch someone you love physically deteriorate and experience such pain. It's equally hard to let go and know the joy of relationship passes away for me as Bill passes into the new life God promises. In many events of the last ten days there have been opportunities to see God's hand at work.

Phoebe and I will join Bobby in Crowley tomorrow night for the family visitation. Saturday we will leave for Kentucky. Not sure when we will be back. God was good as next week is spring break for Phoebe and she won't have to miss school.

I know my family and friends you will be praying for Bobby and his family. Thank you for such love you have shown us in this last year of struggle and challenge.Below I've posted our schedule.

Arrangements for Bill Hancock following:

Visitation Friday, March 12 @ 7:00 pm

Laurel Land Funeral Home

7100 Crowley Rd.

Ft. Worth, TX 76134

(817) 293-1350

Kentucky Visitation & Funeral Arrangements

Visitation, Sunday, March 14 from 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm

Morgan Funeral Home

301 West Washington

Princeton, KY 42445-1960

(270) 365-5595

Funeral Service

Monday, March 15 11:00 am

First Baptist Church of Oak Grove

480 Thompsonville Lane

Oak Grove, KY 42262

(270)-439-5331

Memorial Gifts in lieu of flowers to:

Mission Arlington/Mission Metroplex

210 W. South St.

Arlington, TX 76010

817-277-6620

A little visit between Grami and Gus

2010-03-09T10:28:00.002-06:00

And after the rain - Ta Da...Sunshine

2010-03-09T08:42:00.001-06:00

Wow, this morning I woke up to SUNSHINE. I mean it was so bright it actually woke me up, coming in the window! The day looks very promising. Spring is everywhere. The rain has blossomed my daffydils and I noticed all the trees have buds on them. Hope we don't freeze too badly and set them back.
I am ready for spring!

Last night as I was cooking, I had the door open because I was hot. It was around 11:00 pm. I heard a kitty sound. And sure enough Porch Kitty came hopping up. I had not seen him since Friday. And I feared for his life. About three in that morning I heard coyotes, very close, almost in the yard and they were after something. When kitty didn't show up I was afraid they had gotten him. We are resigned to the fact that we can't get too attached. They (the cats) wonder off, go hunting, get eaten by owls and eagles, fight with other cats, get lost, get eaten by coyotes. We've lost too many to the wildness up here.

So when he didn't show up for four days we all kind of closed our hearts a little, again. But lo and behold, there he was. I couldn't find a wound on his foot. But he will not put it down, so he hops around on three paws. We had some pain meds from another kitty's injury so I gave him and dose. After lots of loving and purrs I put him in the garage for the night. I don't know if he got hit or just wrenched it some how but I'll watch him and see if he should go to the vet.

It's funny how perspective changes everything! Bobby and I were talking the other night about how subjective feelings are. He can preach one Sunday and "feel" good about it. Then the next "feel" bad like it never came together. I've learned to not rely on the way I feel about anything to make decisions. Look at the facts and don't worry about the rest. Case in point our kitty.

If you'd ask me a week ago how I felt about him, I'd have probably said, "I like him ok, but he is going to break my leg some day. He is always threading his way between my feet and tripping me up. Or dashing in the door as soon as I open it to go outside. He annoys me most of the time." But after he was gone for four days, when he hobbled in the open door I let him come in and roam around. I was never happier to see him. I picked him up and cuddled him. I am happy he is home, even if he is not convenient at times.

Don't miss understand me, I think intuition is important too. The assessing of the unspoken or less obvious does factor into every day decisions as well. But I don't let it be the deciding factor most of the time. I know that what I "think" about something can be wrong and lead me astray.

Just like a gray and rainy Monday can make me feel down and discouraged, I can camp out there or hope that a sunny Tuesday is right around the corner. Just like today!

It's sunny and yippeee the kitty is home!

PS: If you want a good laugh make sure you check out Chuck's Blog.

Look on the right for "Go On My Son" on the right and clink on "The Tee-Tee Potty Song".

How much food can I cook in one day? More than I can eat!

2010-03-09T01:51:00.000-06:00

This Monday began with rain and continued just about all day long. Around 6:30 pm the sun actually came out and was brilliant as it set. But most of the day was gray and dreary. This rain caught me by surprise, I guess I haven't watched the news in a while. I had no idea it was coming.

I'm sure we'll be glad for it later on this year but today it was cold and inconvenient. I went to Walmart to buy "big" groceries. You know the kind you need when you go to your cupboard and it is bare.

As I went up and down the aisles at Walmart rain poured on the roof, I was hoping it would pass on over by the time I checked out. But nope. Thankfully it was a light rain by the time I got home and had to bring it all in the house. I did have a deluge down the back of my neck, more than once, as I shuttled from trunk to back door. Our back porch roof needs gutters badly. Because of the runoff, when it really rains, it's like walking through a waterfall. Maybe the church will get around to that this year? I hope so.

After picking up Phoebe and making our chiropractic appointments I came home and started cooking.
I have a young couple in my Sunday school class that are having a baby and she has been put on bed rest already. So I was cooking some meals for them. And I thought it would be helpful for Dom, especially when Luke has to go back to work next week, to have some dinner frozen or already prepared. And I made a some for us - not tons because we won't even be here next week.

So from about four until now I've been cooking and freezing.And washing! It's amazing how many times I needed the one dish or bowl that was dirty. So my hands a quite pruney but it's all done, I really need some lotion! I'll deliver to my class members tomorrow. And to Dom when I go to Arlington next.

Not sure what our weekly schedule is going to be. We got bad news today. The doctors have told Bill they can not do anything else for him. The cancer is affecting his main organs, like his liver. He has a lot of pain. We are waiting to hear what plans will be made, possibly moving him home. It is very sad but I know that God has numbered all our days and I trust Him with that information. Until He takes Bill home we will be happy and love him as much as he can stand and pray that he is pain free as possible.

Gus is doing well. Dom said he has been very happy the last few days.

Bobby with his dad for a few days. When he gets back I will go to work on the house. Right now I'm going to take off my shoes and rub my feet. I'm so glad I don't have a job where I stand up all day long. They are killing me. But I did have a very productive day. If I'm not dead tomorrow, I'm going to stain the cabinet doors for the rent house. According to the weather man (I watched the news tonight), it's supposed to be in the low 70s tomorrow. Later in the week we'll have another cold front. So I better get it done tomorrow or I'll have to take them to Arlington and do them there.

I'm done. Night all.

I'm flying off the Merry-go-round!

2010-03-07T16:03:00.001-06:00

Did you ever ride on the Merry-go-round when you were a kid? It wasn't my favorite. I get motion sick so easy - just watching it makes me want to hurl. But I did my fair share of spinning when I was a kid in elementary school.

I remember sitting on it by my self and pushing it with my feet to make my self spin. I loved that slo mo feeling - turning, ever so slowly and watching the passing by of the world. Not too fast - not too dizzying. Just enough.

More often than not some older kids would show up, they'd allow us little kids to stay on - we were tolerated but they would take turns pushing. Obviously bigger they would push it faster. I can still remember the horrifying moment when centrical force would begin to pull my body out and off. Closer and closer to the edge I'd slide with each spin and push. I've had my share of scrapes from being flung out and off. Not fun.

After a time or two flying into space I learned to sit in the center with my legs wrapped around the bars in hopes I'd will stay on. It's quite the technique - I haven't thought about it in a while.

Phoebe and I went to the Homeless Shelter in Denison to play with the children last Thursday night. We took them out on the playground where there is a Merry-go-round. It's not the traditional kind though. It's shaped more like a saucer with the edges turned up. The faster it goes you still get slung to the edge but you can't really fly out because of the lip.

Seeing it had me remembering my own childhood "fly off" moments with clarity. My life right now feels like I'm at the edge, on the verger of a "fly off" moment. There are so many things pulling me in so many different directions. For the last week I've had the feeling I'm getting very close to being flung right out of my own life. Or maybe hoping to be flung right out of it.

Life is busy that's for sure. The drop dead date for finishing the house in Arlington is looming on the horizon. The need for me to be there working has to be balanced with parenting Phoebe and church responsibilities. Bobby's need to be with his dad and help his mom as much as possible take him to Crowley each week as well. All things we must do and want to do. But that I'm finding challenging.

It means when Bobby's with his family - I am here taking care of home and hearth. When he comes home, he takes over and I go to work in Arlington. We aren't seeing a lot of each other. I feel like we are handing off the torch to each other as we pass. When I was a mother of a young family I felt the needs of my family overwhelm me often...I thought once they grew up I'd have it made. I never envisioned that as I aged that needs of my family would be just as great. Bobby being there for his parents, me being there for Dom's family or Chuck's family, still raising Phoebe...I guess when I thought of this time of life I saw my self reading books and eating bon-bons. Boy was I off.

Friday afternoon Luke called and asked for help. He and Dom were reaching the edge of exhaustion from their round the clock care of Gus and just needed an extra pair of arms to hold him. After almost four months of not getting to hold Gus you know I was saying yes before Luke said two words. I could not wait to get to catch up on cuddles! I switched things around and drove over to Denton arriving around six pm. (More about this in a bit.) Then drove back home in time to pick Phoebe up from church at midnight -where she helped with a girls pamper me party. Slept way too little and then got up and went to a matinee of Phantom of the Opera in Dallas with Bobby and Phoebe.

Just living life right now is wearing me out. I get up feeling tired, I go to sleep exhausted. I'm living on coffee and praying for things to stop for a while. Very few moments of the day go by that I don't have my to do list in front of me, crossing off the done things and adding the to dos that I forgot. I am overwhelmed at just the thought of tomorrow. Looking at the next three weeks makes me feel like crawling into bed and pulling the covers up. For Ever!

I know what it's going to take from me physically to get that house in Arlington finished and I'm out of gas already. Thankfully I can say I'm not depressed about the future. It makes me tired to think about it but I know it's just a season. One I'm very ready to be over. But I know it is passing. If I can just survive the next three weeks.

In the midst of all my whining and cringing about what I'm going to have to endure to the end, God has given me three really special and wonderful moments in the last few days. The first one happened Friday night. It was about ten thirty, I would have to leave Dom's by eleven to get back in time to pick Phoebe up. I was tired, dreading the drive home so late, enjoying the warm baby body snuggled in my arms as I rocked Gus. He was sound asleep. There was a night light on in the room and I could see him as he slept.

My mind wandered from thought to thought. "When will his feeding tube come out? How will Dom and Luke do all this when Luke has to go back to work? Is Gus warm enough, should I get a blanket?" Just very random questions bouncing around in my brain. When suddenly I noticed something. Astounding and heart stopping.

Tearing welled up in my eyes and I begin to thank God. I'm sure I'd seen it in the hospital since his surgery but it didn't have the same impact as when I held him in my arms. Felt him breathe. Saw how he was belly breathing like a normal baby. How his breathing was so faint I had to be still and feel him draw in the breaths. No longer did his chest heave and his shoulders draw forward with the effort of getting enough oxygen. He laid in my arms and sighed sleepily like any healthy baby. And I thanked God for allowing me to see this miracle, to have been apart of the journey.

Looking back I will be honest and tell you I didn't want to have to go on this journey. I'd rather him have been born healthy and with a normal heart. But God has taught me so much about Himself in the last year. He has shown me things I could never know had I not had to walk this way.

The second moment happened this morning in Bible study. I have a wonderful class of twenty-somethings. They bless me with their respect and love. We started Exodus. They know because I tell them often how much I love the Old Testament. I know they have been dreading this next quarter because we will be in Exodus and Leviticus. But I've been praying for them, that God will show them how incredible He is through these scriptures. Anyway, they just bless my socks off with their participation and insights. I love hearing how God is intersecting their lives and giving them direction and understanding. I love these guys so much!

And then after church today, The Open Nester community group held a benefit lunch to help pay Gus' medical bills. It was hamburgers - a group of men grilled them out in the rain - they were delicious by the way! So many people stayed. Many people came from Sherman Bible Church where a pastor friend of Bobby's, Dennis has had his church praying for Gus and encouraged them to come over and support the benefit. As I walked around and talked to our church folks, I was blessed by their love and concern. I know so many have prayed for me, Dom, Luke and Gus over these many months.

I was amazed at those who came from the community. They don't know me, they have never seen Gus or Dom and Luke. Some only knew about this young family in financial need and came to do what they could and have a burger. As I talked with them and answered their questions about Gus I was in awe of the body of Christ at work. These sweet fellow believers came to pitch in because they love our Jesus and want to be obedient to where ever He leads them to walk and how ever He leads them to move.
I have been so humbled at the work of God through the hands of His people today. I was told over $2,500. was raised today to help pay the hospital bills. How amazing.

What a very long post today. I'm sorry, you know I am not a woman of a few words. But I feel all were necessary today. In my crazy hectic life, one I would really like to bail out of at any given moment these days, God shows me Himself. Magnificently. While I may point my finger at all the things that make me crazy and tired and ready to quit. He points His finger at all the reasons I have to hitch up my britches and move on down the road. While it's been a tough road He points out the places He has smoothed my path. So often and in so many places. (I may find it hard but it could have been much so worse.)

Again He is so loving and faithful. He doesn't chastise and criticize my human tendency to look at the negative, my desire to lay down and quit when things get hard. He lovingly turns my head to look at all the ways He is sustaining me. When I look at my life and how my time must be parceled out to meet so many different needs, He takes my to do list in His hand and whispers to my heart, "Be still and know that I am God".

I am no fool. I know the days ahead are going to be physically taxing and I'll probably still be whining. But I have hitched up my britches and decided on the days I find the toughest - to look around and ask God to show me where He has gone before me and made my way easier. I'll remember to ask Him for more strength and when I'm especially tired I'll ask Him to let me be still for a while and KNOW that He is God and I'm not. All that I see and struggle with currently will pass away. My hope is in Him - He is unchanging. Thank Heavens!

Pray for Gus

2010-03-05T13:41:00.001-06:00

Hey y'all. Just needing extra prayers for Gus, Luke and Dom today. He
is back on continuous feeds and tolerating that well. But he is still
very unhappy and not his normal self. Mom and Dad are exhausted.
Thanks for the extra prayers.

Obviously I'm not asleep yet...

2010-03-02T22:04:00.001-06:00

....but as I lay here trying to will my self to sleep, I had another funny moment today worth telling.

Each morning when I wake up, I go into auto pilot mode - "seek coffee". Which today means going around the corner to the 7-11. I won't defend my state of mind in the mornings prior to having caffeine - I'm not pleasant and I'm pretty focused on getting an infusion as soon as possible. At home, I stumble in to the kitchen and can almost make coffee in my sleep, some mornings I'm sure I do.

Well after I put on some clothes - I don't have to do that when I'm at home :) I found my purse - no problem. But my keys were no where to be found. The state of the house when I went to bed last night was chaotic to say the least. Paint trays, trash, tons of tools, two gigantic ladders in the living room. Stuff strewn everywhere. The bedroom wasn't much better. Not that I brought much but it was all over the place. When I arrived yesterday I unloaded the car in the rain and threw everything down and started working. And didn't sleep til 3 - not much clean up got done.

Besides being more than a little groggy as I searched for my keys, I was grumpy and a little panicked. No spares here in Arlington - it would be a minor disaster to lose them here. So I started praying.
"Ok, Lord. I know I'm more than a little grumpy. And I know that I CAN do without that coffee. I can walk to get it if I have to. But I can't get home with out those keys. Please help me find them. I need your help remembering. I need a brain transplant this morning. I needs coffee - so bad."

I'm sure God was laughing as a little more awake, I very methodically searched every room...checking under everything, looking any place I could have dropped them. I looked in closets, open drawers. Looked in the garage. I'm still praying all the while.

Finally I think maybe I left them in the car. As I open the front door I remember distinctly having had them in my hand when I came in and locked the storm door. I think, well I'll go out and look any way. I unlocked the storm door - checked the car, no keys! Now I'm really unhappy.

I go back in lock the storm door again but leave the front door open for light. When we lived here I used to do that to see the world outside but be safe too. I walk around telling God how unhappy Bobby is going to be when he has to drive to Arlington to bring me a spare key. I stop and glance out the door wondering what in the world I'm going to do.

And I spy my keys. Still in the lock of the front door.

(Nobody panic. When I am here I always keep the storm door locked - so I was perfectly safe. But had there been a burglar trying to get in he would have been laughing too!)

Okay - now I'm going to sleep. And by the way both doors are locked and my keys are right beside my pillow.

I Scare Myself!!

2010-03-02T20:49:00.001-06:00

This is what I looked like when I answered the door.
I had worked hard all day. I worked until I ran out of sandpaper. I was sanding the cabinets in the kitchen - verrrry messy! At three in the afternoon, I realize I can't do anything more unless I go get more sand paper. So I showered, changed clothes and went to Lowes. I know, a guy would have gone dust and all. But I was so dirty I refused to get in the car for fear dust would be every where permanently. And I was ready to get some of it off.

I drove right there and right back to the house. When I got there I looked at the time and realized it had been a very long time since I had eaten. Coffee for breakfast, no lunch and It was after four. My tummy grumbled. I had just changed back into my dirty work clothes to try and finish sanding. But my tummy grumbled. So I thought, I'm in the city, I'll just order a pizza and go on working. Which I did.

I just forgot what I looked like and nearly scared the poor delivery guy to death. I'm sure they see some strange things but I'd love to hear what he told his coworkers when he got back to get his next delivery.
I had paper towels on my head held on by painters tape to keep the dust out. And of course the lovely mask. And every inch of my skin and clothing was covered in a fine dust that poofed out around me when I moved. I looked like Pig Pen - sort of.

After staying up til three last night. I'm going to be early and getting up early to finish painting and button the house up til next time. Since I've laughed my self into the hiccups with this post - I've got to go get a drink of water. Then I'll go to sleep. Nite Mom.

PS: GUS WENT HOME TODAY!!!!! Thank you God for being tremendously faithful and incredibly loving.

Rainy Days and Mondays

2010-03-02T02:28:00.000-06:00

Of the last five days, I have spent all five in Arlington working on the house. I drove Phoebe home yesterday so she could go to school today. She helped paint and scrub floors. I think I broke her. Her back was hurting today but Bobby took her to the Chiropractor this afternoon, I hope it helped.

The house is coming along and I may have "before and after" pictures to post tomorrow. The back half of the house, the bedrooms and baths are all done. The kitchen and living room, I should finish painting tomorrow. That will leave the floor to put down in the living room and counters in the kitchen. We will do that spring break.

I think I may get the cabinets stripped and stained before I leave on Wednesday. I stained on drawer today and it's going to look great. Too bad we didn't do all this when we lived here! I'd still like to sell it while it's looking good. But Bobby found a renter. It will take a while to make back what we have put into it but at least it will be paying for it's self.

Anyway, I'll be here for another day or so. I'm going to try and leave early enough Wednesday so I can stop in Denton. Gus should be going home tomorrow. So I'll reward myself for all the hard work I've been doing by stopping and seeing all the grandbabies. I might even get to hold Gus for the first time in almost four months. And I'll get to kiss Enzo's fat baby cheeks. Who knows what Ruby will do - she just keeps me in stitches all the time. She has Chuck's funny sense of humor. Chuck sent me a video of her dancing with their dog - it's hilarious!

My life seems like it is in an endless loop. Work til I drop, sleep, get coffee and work til I drop again. I can't wait until this house is behind me and life can return to normal. I don't mind being alone or even the work. Life just isn't fun with out friends and family. And I don't feel like I'm having time for either. I know that this is just a season and it will pass. I'm very ready for it to pass. Probably like everyone is really ready for winter to blow out and spring to bounce in.

It rained on me all the way in to Arlington today - visibility was not even half a mile. Thankfully I was coming through Dallas around lunch and there wasn't too much traffic and no wrecks. But it was slow driving. It rained most of the day. Which was good for me. It kept me inside working. And it washed all the bird poop off my car. For some reason there are tons of Robin Red Breasts in the Arlington neighborhood. And they are must be eating the Nandina berries from our yard - cuz that's what they pooped on my car. Big red splats with seeds in it. ALL over!

I went to the car wash yesterday to get it off and the guy took one look and told me it'd be $39.99 to get it clean. I told him I wanted the $10.99 car wash and it would be clean enough. Then he told me he'd give me a deal at $29.99 - I told him I'd go somewhere else where they would do what I asked. I wasn't in the mood for the hassel. Especially since I knew those birds were just going to poop on it again. Oh and I guess they don't like the rain because they weren't around today. So there you have it - massive rains have washed my car clean and I didn't have to pay anything. Maybe they won't be back tomorrow. It's supposed to be beautiful for the next two days, I'm thinking they'll out in force. (Sigh)

Tons to do tomorrow. I'm going to sleep now. I hope. Too much caffeine.